Escape clause ...

So, I've had my Escape a year now and put a little over 12K on it. In my book, and the Mrs' (she got hers - the black one - in November) they're great little cars. They hold enough crap, are extremely comfortable, and get decent mileage (20 - 23 mpg with the 3.0L V-6, the four cylinder and hybrid get better, so do the 2WD models). One of the great things is the 'fold-flat' seats. Shayna loves them because she has a flat, level floor to walk around on when we take her places.

Another good thing is the SIRIUS satellite radio that Ford throws in for the first year. I've already renewed the subscription for 2 more years and it will be a must in the next car as well.

Power from the 4-valve V-6 is more than ample (200 hp) and getting up to highway speed is easy. I don't miss the V-8 Explorer in that regard nor do I miss parking the bigger car. The Escape fits anywhere a car would.





They are also very sure-footed. I've taken mine on road calls in axle-deep snow and mud and door-deep flooding and it ran like a champ. Mrs. F was also impressed how well it fares in inclement weather. In my book, no car is worth what they're asking for them but by today's standards, the Escape is a good value for the money.

Update:

And just to add, the Mrs. has the leather interior in hers while I have the cloth (easier to clean) in mine. Both have held up well and the leather is easier to clean than I thought.

Out Of The Crate 200 cc Enduro, $1500

Hard to believe but here it is, brand spankin' new,






I did get a chuckle right off the getgo, they call 'em "Dual Purpose" now.
My Dad raced a Yamaha 250 back in the seventies and after he sold it twenty five years later, found one just like it and fixed it so it looked brand new.
I'll be damned if they didn't call 'em Enduro's back in the day.

Anyway,There it is, Made In China, of course, but shipped to your door for fifteen hundred bucks, some assembly required.
Not much, the handle bars and controls, front wheel and fender, a few other little things.
They say you can be riding it in a little over an hour.
Comes with a warranty no less and a piece of paper with enough digits to let you get a title and license it.
75 miles to the gallon, disc brakes on both ends.
It ain't a bad looking little critter.
As long as ya didn't go out and thrash on it like I would, it sounds like a hell of a deal. Parts may be a bit of a problem getting to in a hurry though.

Here is the link,The Roketa 200.


H/T to Possum Living for the homework on this.

Boingcycle

Mrs. G wants me to get one of these. She says I'll stay home more, get in less trouble, and live longer. Only things I wanta know are does it go 'vroomvroom' or do I have to do it like usual, and where d'ya put the quarters in? The swing set is starting to get boring.



She lets me ride this one while she's shopping:

Where I work* ...

It was hotrod day at the shop. My Escape looks way out of place next to Indian's '23 T and a customer's '67 Chevelle convertible.



And Sam's got a new pup! His name is Chuck.

Click pics to embiggen. Again, sorry about the quality but I took 'em with my cell.

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

Lonnie

I'm just back from rescuing collecting my new Royal Enfield from Burbank. More about the bike in a few days. During its inexorable progress from Larry to my garage, it was stashed at my old friend Lonnie Martin's house. It was a real treat for me'n Mrs. G to get an altogether too brief visit with him and Larry as we haven't seen either one of them in person for probably 20+ years, so I decided to tell you a little about Lonnie.

I met Lonnie at a TT Scrambles/Flattrack race at Adelanto CA in about 1973. It didn't take long to find out we lived less than a mile apart in Burbank and we became friends. He sponsored me for membership in a dirt riding club, which will remain nameless until I get permission from them to out them, and we spent years going racing together, often in the same truck. We were friends, but once on the track, all bets are off, as in "Try ta put a wheel inside me, willya m*****f*****? Watch this!" (sound of door slamming). We rode clean, but we rode as hard as we could. Lonnie just about always beat me. Who cares? It's fun!

There's also the wee possibility that we partied a little as well. Some stories are best left untold...

The Martins are one of Southern California's first families of motorcycling and Lonnie has been a motorcyclist since the day he was born. His first words were probably 'vroom-vroom!'. His late Dad was the Triumph and Vincent dealer in Burbank for many years and Lonnie grew up in the shop. He thought an oil can was a squirt gun, and ended up nailed into a motorcycle crate all day once because of it.

His Dad was also the inventor of the Martin Swinging Arm for rigid-framed Triumphs long before swingarms came stock, the Martin Roadrunner (scroll down) Whizzer-based bike, and the high-quality Martin Motorcycle Lift, an in-floor air-over-oil device. They haven't been built for probably thirty years, but I'll bet there's a lot of them still in service. They were in use in several motorcycle shops I've worked in and I own one personally.

Oh, now I remember...the Martins participated in Land Speed Racing dry lakes speed trials a little too:

Click photos to emhugen

Burbank, California, Triumph dealer Bill Martin and sons Dale and Lonnie (L to R) with their record-setting Tiger Cub streamliner. The Cub ran 139mph at Bonneville in 1956. Shell is a modified P-38 fighter plane belly tank.

Photo from Lonnie's collection. Caption from Triumph Motorcycles In America by Lindsay Brooke and David Gaylin.

Lonnie says his biggest contribution to that effort was he got to help push-start it. Hey, that's what kids are for, ain't it?

Lonnie started racing at an early age, back when there weren't classes for kids. He raced against the big guys. Beat 'em a lot, too. The first time I visited his digs, I never saw so many trophies in one place! Sadly, most of them were destroyed a few years back in a fire in his storage shed.

This next photo was taken in the mid-'70s. Now, he gave me my choice of photos from his extensive collection and was a little puzzled why I wanted this particular one. He has photos of himself way more crossed up and exciting than this one. Here's why: anybody can get full-lock sideways turning left because that's the way oval track races are run. This photo was taken during a TT Scrambles race which has both small right and large left turns, and shows him turning right, steering with the throttle and rear wheel at speed with his feet up. You can't see the smoke comin' out of his ears because of the helmet, but his body language shows the concentration and determination that makes him a winner. The only way this pic could have been better is if it was in color, 'cuz that was the prettiest racing 500 Triumph there ever was. This is motorcycle art, folks.



His racing success did not come painlessly. He told me a funny (now, not then, heh.) story about reporting for jury duty a little while back. He couldn't get through the metal detector because of all the screws holding his arm together, and ended up surrounded by the rent-a-cops that man those things at the L.A. courthouse. It didn't quite happen, but I get this funny visual of him standin' there nekkid, going "but...but...but...".

The next one was taken this past weekend. Lonnie doesn't like his picture taken unless he's at speed on two wheels, and he didn't want to pose for me. About the only person who can get him to do anything is Mrs. G as they are great friends as well. He is either looking at her as if to ask, "Am I doin' OK? Huh? Huh?", or using his lightning reflexes to fuck up my shot just as he saw my finger move on the button, the prick. (Clever way to blame him instead of myself for not watching what I was doing, no?)

The bike is an early KTM 500 single, almost thirty years old, and runs and looks like it just came off the showroom floor. He takes good care of his shit.



These days, Lonnie is involved in the Southern California Timing Association (SCTA), which is the Sanctioning Body for Land Speed Racing speed trials at El Mirage and Muroc dry lakes in the Mojave Desert near Edwards AFB, and the Bonneville Nationals. He is the El Mirage Liaison with the BLM. Once a racer, always a racer, in whatever capacity.

That's about it for now. One thing our visit taught me is that we're not going to go this long between visits again.

Duck!

I decided to do something a little spectacular for F&G's 4th birthday. Here's some action scenes of one of the coolest airplanes ever built from "Murphy's War". More info here.

Murphy learns how to fly the plane in the most daring way, getting it out on the choppy waters of the river and discovering how the controls work by trial and error. This extensive flying scene involves lots of shots of the floatplane veering sharply to avoid buildings, the jungle and stalling.

My kinda guy! There wasn't even anybody for him to ask, "Where's the gas an' clutch?"

Happy Birthday to us!

Today marks the 4th anniversary of this blog. Seems like just yesterday when we began this page. Thanks to all the readers and commenters who stop by and especially thanks to Gord and Nucks, who've helped to give F&G it's personality.

Where I work* ...

Pasted on the lift:

Click to embiggen.

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series. Shitty pic thanks to my cell phone camera.

Ford Dealer Needs An Editer

This is what happens when you get your signs printed in China because it's cheaper...

LATimes

Click to Emgibben

On the other hand, their customers will never notice...(ducks!)

How To Tell Fixer is On A Test Drive

He always waves at ya.

Royal Enfield Update

Since most of our snow has gone wherever snow goes in the Spring, me'n Mrs. G are making plans to go to L.A. in a coupla weeks and collect my new motorcycle. Backstory here.

Just for fun, I typed in 'Royal Enfield' at YouTube. That killed a coupla hours, and I found this TV road test. The bike they tested is nearly identical to mine, the differences being that mine is a different color (red & chrome) and has no electric starter. Larry, my old pal from whom I bought it, says that with 6.5:1 compression it'll start if ya sneeze on it. I'm sure Enfield put the 'electric leg' on to entice folks to buy these jets who have heard the apocryphal (if sometimes true - I won't go into the peculiarities of mechanical and manual ignition advance systems here) stories of getting flung over the handlebars whilst kickstarting large displacement one-lungers. Folks today want most of the retro-bike experience.

One little oddity in the video is that there's an A/V glitch right at "the bike will cruise comfortably all day at ________". Hmmmm. 60 MPH? 50 MPH? 30...? I guess I'll find out.

And, oh yeah, my bike has 150 miles on it, so I paid a hell of a lot less than the MSRP. (Big shit-eatin' grin!)

Enjoy. More later.



Just as an afterthought, go see this Asian Royal Enfield commercial. They'd never get away with that in this country!

Saturday Crazy Irish Redneck Music and Motorized Mayhem Blogging

This just shows that you can have fun with anything with a motor and wheels!

Day 1 of the tractor run and the tractors are on their way to the Cork-Kerry border and Irelands highest pub

It figures that any event involving these rigs would have to be multi-day.

Hmmmm, lemme see now - A motorized gang of Irishmen heading for a pub. I wanta see the video from the return run! Them ol' boys're likely to be plowin' some mighty odd places...



I realize this is addicting, so there's more of these here. Thanks to Yellowlabrador.

Big Brother Is Watching You, Much Closer Than You Think

Get a load of this.

They already have cameras all over every major city and even some highways.

Bush just turned our own spy satellites on us, on top of tapping all of our web surfing and Emails they intercept.

My Dad sent me this video and I JUST FELT A CHILL RUN DOWN MY SPINE.

Notice that this was filmed in Canada, also notice at the very end how he says it is going to revolutionize police work ALL OVER NORTH AMERICA!

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.




Don't forget they also put RFID chips in the new passports......

Cross posted @ Ornery Bastard

Get Rid of The Training Wheels, Gord.

Beep Beep my ass!

It's not like this a new idea, kinda, these things have been around a long time.
I think that the fold up rotor and being able to drive it down the road is what makes this unique.




H/T My Pops.

Where I work* ...

No Smoking!

Sam's dad stops by the shop the other day on his way to work. He comes in and lights a cigarette. "How long before she gets here?" He asks.

"About 20 minutes," I tell him.

"Good idea," Indian says and lights one up, so do I.

Backstory: Sam is very anti-smoking and no one is allowed to smoke in the shop while she's there (the little pain in the ass). Sam's dad isn't allowed to smoke at the house either and he has to hide his cigarettes. So in the mornings before she gets to the shop, we smoke like chimneys to get our blood nicotine levels up to carry us through the 3 hours she's there in the morning. Sam's dad stops by sometimes to commiserate (he went to high school with the Indian). Fine.

"Your daughter is a pain in the ass," I tell Dad.

"You're telling me?" He says. "I'm not safe driving down the street in my own car."

"What, is she following you?" I ask, laughing. Sam can be a pit bull when she latches onto something.

"I don't know," he says. "But the other day, I was driving down the Avenue, happy as a clam, radio playing, enjoying a Marlboro, when I see this green Pathfinder in my rear view mirror."

"No shit?" I laugh.

"Dude," he says. "I see her swing out, go around two cars, and get along side me. I see the passenger window go down and I hear 'put that cigarette out, daddy'. And then she passes me and speeds off."

"Sucks to be you," I say.

He laughs at me. "Don't talk, pal," he says. "Look at the three of us. Grown men scared of a teenage girl."

"Damn straight," Indian says, keeping an eye up the Avenue for a green Pathfinder.

Heh ...

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

I call "Bullshit".

I used to be a crazy bastard in my day, I can not get on a motorcycle, period.

For me, there are only two throttle positions, OFF and ON.

All The Way On.

The following article doesn't surprise me a bit.

Modern bikes will easily do a hundred fifty miles an hour.

They are marvels of modern technology.

The part I am calling bullshit on is ANYONE reading and remembering a fucking license plate that is three inches tall and six inches wide as it goes by at a hundred fifty fucking miles an hour.

Nice try fella's.

I can see getting on the radio and telling dispatch there is some crazy fucker on a bike going down the freeway so fast you barely caught what color it was and then another cop ahead nailed ya , but reading the license plate?

Please.

The Game ...

It's that time of year again where New York State tries to increase their revenue from independent shops by sending undercover cars out to make sure inspections are carried out correctly. If you'll remember, I got banged a year and a half ago.

Well guess what?

Yesterday they sent the same guy who got me last time. I don't know, maybe they think mechanics are stupid, but to send the same guy that cost me a lot of money is ridiculous. He's damn lucky I don't make sure he isn't eating the rest of his meals through a straw. I put him off yesterday (I acted as if I didn't recognize him) and made him an appointment for Tuesday morning. I'm still debating whether to let him know he took a big risk coming back or not, or just ripping an eyeball out of his head and skull fucking him until his brain leaks out his ear.

A word to the state inspection program. There's a buncha bigger assholes than me in the business. They pull this shit with some of the guys I know, they'll find their 'undercover agent' floating in the harbor and their car in little pieces in the county dump.

Update, Tuesday 22 April:

Mofo didn't even show up today. Scumbag.

Taxis

There seem to be millions of these converted, customized school buses in Panama. Some of the custom work is really good.






They have their own unique brand of taxi in Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas too. There are hundreds of these converted pickemups who make a living taking passengers from the cruise ships in the harbor to the downtown shopping area during the high season.

Click pics to embiggen

Biker Planet

Lookin' fer a gal who can suckstart yer Hawg? Look no further.

Brittown

This is a heads-up to Britbike enthusiasts and a movie review of sorts. I was skiddin' around YouTube the other day as I am wont to do whenst seeking relief from politics, and I ran across this video:



Through the miracle of the mouse, I went straight to Brittown and ordered it. It came in three days, which I think is pretty good for a pre-release order!

You can read what they have to say about the film there. Here's what I have to say about it.

The movie basically depicts "Meatball" as he strips and rebuilds a Triumph Bonneville, interspersed with some vintage racing scenes, general ridin' around, some bars and the bands who play in them, and some babes.

One scene made me cringe. I've been a Triumph mechanic for almost forty years, and I'm no stranger to the vices and vicissitudes of the 'home tuners', but this guy owns a shop and I've never before seen a shop mechanic attempt to remove the crankshaft pinion by prying it off with screwdrivers! I damn near dove under the couch to get away from the awful visual! They don't come off that easy, as he discovered, and to his everlasting credit he admitted he needed 'to get a new pair of chopsticks'. Later they showed him using the proper puller, which is unique to the application and pretty essential.

I was also a little dazzled when he sent the engine parts out to get cleaned. I've cleaned thousands of motorcycle parts, but I never knew you could farm this out any further than the 'shop gunk' AKA the 'lot boy'. The parts went to some machine shop that had a special Sunnen hot-soapy-water machine. The wonders of the modern age!

As far as the rest of the rebuild went, he built it for speed with hotter cams, lighter valves, a flow job, and some aftermarket parts like a Morgo oil pump, a QPD belt primary drive, and an ARD magneto. Apparently it was the last magneto ever built by Alan R. D'Alo, whose name was misspelled in the credits if memory serves. Those magnetos were the gold standard for Triumphs for years.

While ol' Meatball was buttoning up his Bonnie, his buds were all standing around drinking his beer (heh!) and betting on how many kicks it would take to start, like 'first' kick, 'second' kick and so on. Heh, youngsters! There weren't any old farts like me there who know the sure way to bet is on the kick that we know will start any motorcycle in the world, which is the 'last' kick. I'll leave ya in suspense on that one, but start it did and ran down the road just fine, as you saw in the video above.

The vintage racing scenes were like old home week for me, although I raced at some of the venues before it was called 'vintage' racing. I will sob for a few minutes...

Meatball raced his old BSA singles, a B50 (or maybe a TR5MX, mox nix) at the Elsinore Grand Prix, and flattracked his B44 at Perris Raceway. I own one of each of those and have raced both venues. He raced at Willow Springs as well. I've been there, mostly to aid and abet roadracing friends, but I always thought dirt was for racin' and pavement was for gettin' there.

There's a scene of him riding his Tiger Cub to a saloon out in the desert. Been there, done that. I've got two of those.

The general ridin' scenes were about what you'd expect from a buncha bozos who like to ride English machines that are often older than they are. Or motorcyclists anywhere for that matter. Everybody who sees this movie will recognize all the players as guys much closer to home than Southern California. These are just reg'lar guys who like to slick their hair back and gas it. Just like the rest of us.

As far as the bars, bands, and babes, pretty much good clean fun. The gals are pretty, all the music in the film is by no doubt local bands, none of which anybody outside SoCal ever heard of 'til now. All part of the depicted lifestyle, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

If this sounds good to you, click it up and order it. The price is commensurate with the low volume and rarity of an indie niche flick like this, but I doubt if you'll be seeing this one at the video store or Netflix any time soon, if ever. It's reasonably priced and good value for money. I've never seen anything else quite like it.

It's a 'must have' addition to any English bike enthusiast's collection and I'm glad to have it.

Also check out the filmmaker's blog, Motorcycles And Moviemaking Mayhem.

Your Opinion Is Welcome

This to me is so far off the scale of illegal search and seizure I can hardly find the words to express my outrage.

4/2/2008
California: Police Raid Car Enthusiast Gathering, Generate Revenue
Police raid Riverside, California parking lot to issue modified car tickets at local car enthusiast gathering.
snip

Using $503,000 in federal and state gas tax revenue to pay for overtime, nine police agencies in Riverside, California sent more than one hundred police officers to surround a gathering of automotive enthusiasts. Owners of imported sport compact cars had gathered at the Canyon Crossing shopping center on Friday night to swap stories, talk about their passion for cars and show off the latest enhancements to their rides. At around 11pm police surprised participants by blocking all exits with fifty police cruisers. Officers then began a warrantless search and interrogation operation of the 150 vehicles that were present.

"If you're not into street racing, why would you need that?" Riverside Police Traffic Sergeant Skip Showalter asked an enthusiast during a similar crackdown last year. "Why would you want more power going to your car?

"

Police issued a total of forty-eight tickets for "engine modifications" with police accusing the owners of the parked vehicles of being street racers.

snip, my emphasis.

Someone please explain to me just how this is anyones business but the owner of the vehicle?
As long as the engine meets emission standards,how is it against the law to put performance enhancing parts on your own vehicle? And how is it possible to be street racing while you are in a parking lot full of cars?
This is so far over the top I can't believe there aren't going to be several lawsuits stem from this.I know I would be in contact with the ACLU the minute the doors opened the next day. Class action against every single police department, the state AND the federal government for civil rights violations, illegal search and seizure, harassment and whatever else they could find.Turn the whole toolbox over and throw everything in it at them.This is outrageous.

Another fifty tickets were issued for paperwork violations, dark window tinting and lack of a front license plate. The most revenue, however, will be generated from the fees imposed on twenty vehicles that were confiscated. Despite labeling the parking lot raid as taking place at a "street racing venue," Riverside Police offered no evidence that any street racing actually took place.

Across the state, gas tax funds are regularly used to fund similar crackdowns that generate big revenue. In 2004, the California Highway Patrol issued a total of 101,553 "modified car" citations worth $10.5 million according to CHP data obtained by TheNewspaper.

Other law enforcement agencies participating in Friday night's raid included the California Highway Patrol, Riverside County Sheriff's Department, and police from Baldwin Park, Fontana, Irwindale, Moreno Valley, Ontario and Mount San Jacinto Community College

The original article is here, I found it courtesy of Fark and I am just about speechless that this can in anyway be considered legal.

Cross posted at Outta The Cornfield and Ornery Bastard

El Camino (Sur)Real

LATimes

It's a car. No, it's a truck. Whatever it is, it's back.

General Motors has jumped into the auto industry's retro trend, unveiling a half-pickup, half-muscle car amalgamation bearing a striking resemblance to a long-lost classic: the Chevy El Camino.

The original El Camino, along with the nearly identical GMC Caballero, has indubitably earned a niche in popular culture, with references in songs by dozens of bands, including ZZ Top, and appearances in plenty of movies and TV shows, including "My Name Is Earl." During its last three years of production, it was built in Mexico. The band Ween called it an "Aztec machine speeding to the light."

But much of the affection has fallen into the tongue-in-cheek variety, and Nerad wonders if the car will appeal only to those who might have owned an El Camino, say, 25 years ago. "Maybe you're just mining that vein and then the vein runs dry," he said.

I'm queer for El Caminos. You want vein? Take it. Make mine red to offset the pallor brought on by no blood.

New Blood

The only thing that is permanent is change.
The new generation of car designers is already making their mark and showing their stuff to us old farts now and they have some wild ideas for getting us down the road in the present and near future.

The New York Times has an article today that introduces the cream of the crop.

They also have a slideshow to accompany the article with the pictures of the young designers they are introducing.
Take my word for it, you want to click the link to see the picture of the interior designer that works for Lincoln, trust me.

Good kid ...

So it's Sam's 19th Birthday tomorrow. You've heard me singing her praises here for a year and a half, and her parents are proud of her for all she's done. As a surprise they bought her a Nissan Pathfinder (1998 - 42K miles) and gave it to her today. First thing she does is run up to the shop to show us.





She's been beating her daddy's 20 year old Chevy Silverado pickemup around, to work at the shop, to work at the grocery store, and to school every day. She's one happy little camper.

Once again, the shitty pics are thanks to my phone, sorry.

Where I work* ...

Mrs. W calls me today. "F-man, I'm hearing a noise from the back of my car when I hit the brakes. I don't have time to leave it with you, but could you look at it quick to make sure it's nothing life-threatening?"

"No problem," I say. "Can you bring it up now? I got the lift open."

She says yes and arrives 10 minutes later. I take the car for a quick spin and sure enough, the rears are noisy. I figure it's dust buildup and bring it in. Sam lets me in and I tell her to put it up in the air and take the rear wheels off. Mrs. W is standing there as Sam puts the car up on the lift and the conversation goes something like this.

Mrs. W: Who's this pretty girl?

Me: This is Sam.

Sam: Hi! (waves)

Mrs. W: How did a young girl come to work here.

Me: She came here on an internship program with the local high school.

Mrs. W: She's in high school?

Me: No. She graduated and she's going to college now but we can't get her to go away. It's been a year and a half and we can't get rid of her.

Sam (from the other side of the car): Suck my ass, old man.

Mrs. W: You're teaching her well, F-man.

Me: Thank you, thank you very much.

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

Stir it up

I got this picture from my pal Bev with the title "How Real Men Use Post-its".



I respectfully suggest to Fixer, Harry, et al, that this system could possibly be modified to avoid making rookie mistakes involving twin redheads Windstars...

No one's immune from confusion. Once upon a time (signifying a fairy tale, even if true) I had a work order to rebuild a Yamaha Enduro engine. I took the engine off the shelf and stripped it down to the crankshaft assembly. Everything looked good, down to new gaskets and clean oil, brand new in fact, so I asked the Service Manager what was up. That's when I found that the next guy down the bench had rebuilt it earlier that day and I had grabbed the wrong one.

Oops. Happens to all of us.

Oh boy ...

Now we're pretty sharp and on the ball, but sometimes the planets align (along with Harry's mojo) to throw us a curve we can't deal with. Today was one of those days. Harry, in his wisdom, booked Mr. H and Mr. S in with their red 2000 Ford Windstars on the same day. Both needed an inspection. Both had engine control problems (same problems by the way). Both were a quart low on oil.

Click pis to enredden. Sorry about the quality, I took 'em with my phone.

We forgot if we did the safety part of the inspection on one or the other. One of 'em also needed a new wiper motor. Almost put the new one on the wrong car. Writing up the bills later, we forgot which one we did what on. Oy, what a fucking day. We told Harry that if he ever does that again we were gonna shoot his ass.

A Diesel Powered Bike?

The Marines have one now.

The following article is from the New York Times, written by Dexter Ford.

I clipped a little more than I really wanted to but I also left quite a bit of relevant information there so please go read the whole thing.



Other American and NATO military machines, from diesel generators to stealth bombers, run on JP-8 to simplify fuel supply logistics. While JP-8, a formulation of jet fuel similar to kerosene and diesel fuel, works fine in those engines, commercially available motorcycles require gasoline.

That situation presented an opportunity for Fred Hayes, chief executive of Hayes Diversified Technologies, a military contractor in Hesperia, Calif., that has built specially adapted motorcycles for the Marines and the Army Special Forces for more than two decades. The bikes are modified to run in the harshest environments on earth with special lighting and more rugged suspensions and tires.

When the Marines requested a motorcycle that would run on JP-8, other military contractors proposed outlandish turbine-powered machines. But the Marines wanted a bike that would actually work, and soon, at a reasonable cost. Hayes won the contract.

The resulting HDT M103M1 uses the chassis, a few engine components and all the internal transmission parts of the Kawasaki KLR650, a workhorse capable of anything from daily commuting to Sahara exploring. But the Marine machine’s major engine components are all new, built for diesel service.

The difference was apparent the instant I thumbed the starter button. In place of the gasoline-powered KLR’s anxious idle, the Marine machine came to life with the low clatter of a London taxi.

In contrast to a gasoline engine, which responds instantly to the throttle, a blip of the twist grip resulted in — well, not much. It took a good three seconds for anything significant to happen.

On a half-hour test ride, the M103M1, though sluggish at first, gathered speed with dogged insistence. The footpegs and handlebars buzz as the engine revs — the counterbalancer that controls vibration in the stock KLR has been omitted to save weight and reduce complexity. Shifting through the five-speed gearbox gets the M103M1 past 90 miles an hour, a speed it will hold, apparently, until the end of time.

One of the great advantages of the M103M1’s diesel engine is its efficiency. At a steady 55 m.p.h. it gets 96 miles a gallon, according to Hayes, about twice the mileage of the gasoline engine.

This is really pretty damn cool, when the production starts keeping up with demand these things are going to be all over the world.
Looking at the size of the fuel tank I am guessing this thing will go at least 500 miles on a tank of fuel.

Mechanics Are Nasty

Everything you have ever heard about mechanics being nasty perverts is probably true, there is a reason most women would rather walk over hot coals than walk into a repair shop.
I will never as long as I live forget this one old guy I worked next to for years.
Hell of a nice old guy, real quiet with a dry sense of humor.
He never had a whole lot to say and when he did you had to listen good because he talked so quiet.
One hot summer day both bay doors were open to let the breeze through and this gorgeous hottie came strolling through one end of the shop, wearing a halter top and a flimsy see through skirt.
Instantly you could have heard a pin drop in a garage over hundred feet long, with twenty mechanics staring like they had just seen Jesus.
As she sauntered by, I heard the old man say something I couldn't believe came out of his mouth.

"Look at that would ya boy, I'd let her pee in my face for sure".

I thought I was gonna die laughing,fucking bastard.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of HIM to say such a thing.
Of course the young lady didn't hear what HE said but she stopped and looked at me like I was retarded.

Ahhh, good times.
I hadn't thought of that for ages, until I saw this angel.

Cross Posted at Ornery Bastard.

Eye Candy Revisited

200cc Triumph, late '60s. I've got 2¼ of these.

While I was cruisin' back issues of F & G, I ran across this post from Dec. '06.

Well, the photos available have gone from 30 to 71. The guy's been busy at the Up-N-Smoke Engine Project. Go see.

An Entertaining Review

In one of the most entertaining reviews of a car in recent memory,writer Dan Neil
takes the new Lexus hot rod out for a spin, I'll let you see what he thinks, strike that, I HAVE to tease you with one piece first;

The car also sings. The IS-F is equipped with an eight-speed automatic transmission, in which the gear ratio intervals are very evenly spaced. Eight speeds happen to correlate to eight notes of the diatonic scale -- do, re, mi, etc. If you hold the throttle and speed steady, and you shift up and down with the shifter paddles, you can actually coax simple melodies out of the stacked-pipe quad exhaust, for instance, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." And, yes, I get paid for this.

snip

Now go read the rest.

It's That Time Again

Today's Daytona 5oo marks the opener for another ten month long season of NASCAR.

I will be the first one to admit I don't follow it nearly as much as I used to.
I know guy's who can rattle off statistics for it like die hard baseball fans can tell you who was on second base in the fourth World Series.
Get a grip.

I grew up with racing, my dad raced little British cars and later Motocross bikes in the seventies.
It can be lots of fun and I do go see a few races over at PIR later in the year but some of this is just overkill.

I watch and enjoy as much as I want and I find it hard to even keep up with who is driving for whom in what kind of car anymore.
I did notice Ford has a much thinner herd in the run this year, oh well, the amount of money it takes to sponsor one team for one year is getting obscene and Chevy and Ford both are looking at some hard times ahead in the sales department.

Good luck to the new talent and old alike.

Where I work* ...

Sam the Fashionista! My road call jacket, her funky orange hat. I betcha they saw her from the space station. Heh ...

Click to increase the glare.

Mrs. F made the mistake of letting me get a cell phone with a camera this week.

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

General Who?

LATimes

Roland Sands has spent the last year peeling the skins off dirt bikes, reaching deep inside their body cavities. What he's found are the bikes' unlikely alter-egos.

The Super Single idea is so new that Wikipedia doesn't have an entry -- yet -- but when it does, it might go something like this: "A 450 Super Single is a single-cylinder 450-cc dirt bike that's been converted into an entry-level road racer. The frame, subframe, swing arm, motor and transmission are all stock, but the wheels, tires, suspension and bodywork have all been modified for on-track use and general skulduggery."

General skulduggery? Now ya got me interested...

Actually, it makes perfect sense if you've ever seen a good 500 single show its taillight to a Fastass Sumbichi 4-cylinder on a canyon road. They're light, narrow, and have a low center of gravity.

Mad Sunday

Since we're goin' fast in the twisties today, here's a coupla videos from the Isle of Man TT. 'Mad Sunday' is the official name of a couple of periods of a coupla hours each when the Mountain Circuit is open to the public. They bring in extra ambulances for this.

First, a video of a BMW R1150GS, which is not a roadracer. The interesting thing is the speedo and tach on camera, and also the amplified engine noise behind the fairing as perceived by the mic on the camera. Sounds like a cement mixer fulla walnut shells! About ten minutes.



Next, a much shorter video of a 1000cc Gixxer. You can read the speedo really well on this one. Scares me...

Curves ...

Much as I love racing in all its forms, my favorite is on a road course. I love curves, and not only on da wimmins. Reader Mr. Natural turned me on to this YouTube of a Cobra chasing a motorcycle and it brought back fond memories of a hell ride I took in a Corvette on the Merritt Parkway in Connecticut (CT-15).



There was another Mrs. F and I took down Westlake Boulevard in California (CA-23) from the 101 to the Pacific Coast Highway in a rented V8 Dodge Dakota pickup. By the time we reached PCH, I had that truck so twisted every panel rattled. Heh ...

Which, in turn, reminds me of this tune:

Counting Crows - A Long December

Amazing how my deranged little mind works, ain't it?

Surrounded By Swamps And Bored?

Find yourself an old tractor, a canoe, some ski's and a drivetrain, then build yourself a

========== SWAMP BUGGY!! ==========












I about fell out of my chair the first time I stumbled onto these while channel surfing a few years ago.

I couldn't figure out WHAT the hell it was I was seeing!
When they are skimming around the track, the only thing you can see is the cockpit sticking out of a giant spray of water.

This is mud bogging on steroids.
They have all kinds of classes, both sexes and some of these things are damn serious machines.

They are a HOOT to watch!
If you ever find yourself sitting in front of the TV bored on a Saturday or Sunday in the Summertime, try and catch one of these shows.

I snagged these pictures from Mike Johnson, at his website.

If they do this in New York ...

I'm fucked:

MESA, Ariz.- A pair of vans deployed by the state Department of Public Safety last week to electronically nab speeders are just the tip of the iceberg.

The DPS intends to install up to 120 fixed speed-enforcement cameras alongside rural highways and urban freeways in coming years, according to documents obtained by the East Valley Tribune newspaper under a public records request.

...

Where I work* ...

It's been a while since I posted here. Apologies.

Hood Ornament Harry

Mrs. S is a sweet little old lady, though she's about 150 years old and shouldn't drive. She pulls into the lot last week with both side view mirrors blown off her Saturn. Now, this poor little car doesn't have a straight panel on it, bounced it off everything on the narrow streets in town and her garage. Every three months or so, I put a new side view on her car. It was a double this time. Heh ...

So, as I said, she pulls into the lot, swerves a left right off the Avenue in front of me as I'm trying to pull this crew cab Silverado pickemup truck into the shop. Thank god I saw the white roof of the Saturn in front of the push bar before I drove into the driver's door. I blow the horn and she looks around vacantly, not noticing the grille of the big Chevy a foot from her window. I get out, get her attention by tapping on the window, and motion her over next to the dumpster. Fine. She moves without hitting anything and I get the truck into the shop.

Since I got real work to do, Harry goes out to Mrs. S (who's still in her car) with his book to write down the vehicle info and send her on her way. We get the mirrors in a day and she comes in to get them installed. Five minutes later, Harry comes back in and calls for the new mirrors. I look out the window and see Mrs. S backing up to get out of the lot, straight for another customer's car. Harry sees it too and runs out, yelling at her to stop. Happily she sees him and hits the brake. Just in time.

Harry goes to her door and asks if she wants him to turn the car around so it's pointing at the street. Now, her window doesn't go down because the door has been banged up so much, so she opens the door to hear Harry. She says yes, but leaves the car in 'reverse'. Harry yells at her to put it in 'park'. Who the Hell knows what she heard, but she hit the gas. The car lurches backward and the door catches Harry, launching him across the hood of the other customer's car, just as Mrs. S' car backs into it. Ain't seen Harry move that quick in a long time. Heh ...

Thankfully there was no damage, to Harry (the old man was sore for a couple days though) or the other customer's car. We got Mrs. S pointed the right way and turned her loose after assuring her Harry would survive. While we can laugh at it now, there's a buncha old folks who shouldn't be driving. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do and it's up to their families to take action to get them off the road. From personal experience, it's a difficult thing to do, especially in places like Long Island where mass transit isn't exactly old-friendly but Mrs. S, and a lot of sweet little old ladies like her, is gonna kill somebody one day. Hopefully it ain't one of us.

I Pity Mr. T

Mrs. T is a little woman, about 98 pounds, just over 5 feet tall, a transplant from Georgia who married a local boy and moved back here. They don't have any kids but they have a little Yorkshire Terrier named Danny. Now, Mrs. T had this Mitsubishi Montero that she loved. It was the sport model, so it had the bigger V6 and was fun to drive. It wasn't that big so she and Danny (they go everywhere together) could zip in and out of the narrow streets in town. It had a lot of miles on it, so Mr. T was a good guy and bought her a Christmas present. Nice guy, right? Heh ...

Mrs. T and Danny show up the other day in the Christmas present for its first oil change. He goes and buys her a GMC Denali XL, big 6.2 liter V-8, every bell and whistle, fucking thing is the size of a Greyhound bus, barely fits in the shop.

She and Danny come to pick it up and ask her how she likes it.

1 - "The thing is so big, it takes me a half hour to get down the Avenue."

2 - "I can't park it anywhere on the street because somebody's already hit the mirror."

3 - "It's a bitch to turn corners with and it takes forever to find a parking space big enough."

4 - "But Danny likes it."

No shit. Fucking thing's a playground for the little dog. "So why'd ya get it?" I ask her.

"I didn't," she says. "This is my husband's idea of practical. I'm gonna kill him, bless his heart."

Sucks to be Mr. T. Heh ...

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

Hey Gord?

Fuck that 'Vette,
I want one of THESE!!

The End Of An Era

General Motors now has a reason to pull it's head out of the sand and start getting serious about a few things.
Quality products for one,putting hybrid and electric vehicles on a fast track for two.

It's a safe bet that the days of the Hummer are limited, it was a niche market anyway.

GM is going to have to get real serious about costs too, something they whine about constantly.

GM, Toyota in Dead Heat in 2007 Sales

WAPO,
By TOM KRISHER
The Associated Press
Wednesday, January 23, 2008; 10:04 AM

DETROIT -- General Motors Corp.'s 76 years of global sales supremacy is ending, as totals for 2007 released on Wednesday showed the automaker in a virtual tie with Toyota Motor Corp.

GM said it sold 9,369,524 vehicles worldwide last year, up 3 percent from 2006. Earlier this month, Toyota reported global sales of 9.37 million vehicles, but the Japanese automaker did not release a number down to the last vehicle, leaving the sales race too close to call.

Detroit-based GM has held the title of world's largest automaker since the 1930s, but Toyota's strong U.S. growth and GM's U.S. sales decline helped Toyota move closer to the top spot in recent years.
snip

Better Living Through Chemistry

Better Plastic From Detroit?

By William Diem

DETROIT — One nice thing about being a journalist on the show floor during press days is that you run into people who have answers to your nagging questions.

Ever wonder why Toyota interiors are better than those from Ford or Chevrolet?

snip

Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have had less money than their competitors to spend on car projects because they had to spend so much for pensions and health care, Mr. Cole said. And because interiors are the last part of a car to get commitments for investment, that is where corners are cut when the money runs out.

According to Mr. Cole, thanks to new contracts signed last fall with the union workers, G.M. will save $5,000 per car by 2010 and be on a level playing field with Toyota. And the first place consumers may notice a difference is better quality in future interiors.

And here I always thought we had the best plastic shit.
Who knew?

New Vette, New Price, New Top End

Better start looking under the couch cushions now, Gord.
Estimated to cost a Hunnert Grand.
602 HP, 200MPH flat out.
It's a quick little Devil, but whatever you do, DON"T SCRATCH IT!!!

General Motors says that the clear coat paint additive used on top of the carbon-fiber parts costs $60,000 a gallon, which breaks down to $900 a car. As for the rest of the car, Mr. Danahy said, “We tried not to go too crazy with the appearance.”

Jeez Mareze!

The original article is from the Automobile section of the NY Times.

I couldn't afford to pay anymore attention.

NOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!

The V-8 is dead

According to this article

The Vette and the Caddy CTS-v are the last holdouts, both using derivatives of Chevrolet's venerable 1955 Small block.

Now everyone is focusing on Direct Fuel Injection and Turbo'd 4 bangers and V-6's.

Long Live The V-8

This Is Exciting, I Just Punked Myself!

No batteries, gas, oil, or coolant.
A regenerating super efficient electric motor, with an automatic behind it.
You can use this thing to make electricity for your house, barn, you name it.
This is fantastic.


H/T to my buddy Dale, my Dad's oldest friend.


Cross posted at Ornery Bastard

Update
I've had Bullshit called so take it at face value until I can look into it.
I put it up right after getting it.


Update two
OHHHKAY, I see where I screwed up now. A nice gentleman pointed out the way I said regenerating violates the second law of thermodynamics.
Gotta love Google, I didn't have a clue.

Second Law of Thermodynamics - Increased Entropy
The Second Law of Thermodynamics is commonly known as the Law of Increased Entropy. While quantity remains the same (First Law), the quality of matter/energy deteriorates gradually over time. How so? Usable energy is inevitably used for productivity, growth and repair. In the process, usable energy is converted into unusable energy. Thus, usable energy is irretrievably lost in the form of unusable energy.

Thus the word regenerative would imply something along the lines of a perpetual motion machine, my bad.
I did find a reference to Mr. Reed and his remarkable engine here;
Conspiracy Central.
It concludes that attempts to locate Mr. Reed were unsuccessful.

Update 3.

Turns out he never did have a self sustaining motor and the video is bogus.
Nice.
Thats what I get for getting excited and putting it up without thinking critically.

My sincere apologies.

Go here for what happened and where it stands as of right now.

H/T One Fly for pointing me to the error of my ways.
Thanks bud.

Ford, Jaguar, and Royal Enfield

From AFP via Raw Story:

The US automaker Ford on Thursday named Tata Motors of India as the preferred buyer of Ford's luxury Jaguar and Land Rover models.

Why not? Indian concerns have some history of taking over English companies.

For instance, Royal Enfield motorcycles. This make started making bikes in England in 1901 and ceased production in 1970. A good history here.

These sleds started being manufactured under licence in India in 1955 and are still being manufactured there today. As a matter of fact, they are still building basically the 1955 model! The bikes have been upgraded over time, of course, but they are the last old-style "Limey" sleds still available as brand new.

Since Mrs. G got a new bike earlier in the year, we figured it was only fair that I get one too. Since she's planning to retire later this year, the theory is we better get new shit while we're still under the delusion that we have money. We've been working this theory like a red-headed stepchild. She also got a new icebox and range, and I got a new dishwasher. These three items match for the first time in our lives! We figure a) they're the last we'll need, and b) at our age, they probably won't wear out. There are other acquisition plans in the works as well, but I digress.

I made a deal with my friend Larry to buy his Indian Enfield. An '04 model (I think, but they're kinda all the same so it doesn't really matter) with 150 miles on it and a shitpot fulla spares and accessories. We've been talking about this for almost a year, and now that the bike has been offered, and the offer accepted (the sword fighting over the price took all of ten seconds), naturally he wants it out of his garage right now!. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. The bike's in L.A. and I'm 500 miles and 80 feet up a snow-covered driveway away. Soon, Larry, soon...

Check out Royal Enfield's U.S. site for a good look at some of these old-fashioned bikes.

Really, the whole point of this post was to tell the following story, which I swear is absolutely true:

The other day I had occasion to call a customer service number, for what doesn't matter. The gent had an Indian accent so I asked him where he was. India. I had to ask, I've heard the same accent on the phone to Texas, and in any case I always ask where folks at 800 numbers are located just out of curiosity.

I mentioned that I had just bought an Indian Enfield and this is how he replied:

"Oh yes! I am having one of those in 1999-2000. Very pleasant to drive! Also very heavy when it is laying on my leg..."

Ya can't make this shit up, folks.

More on the new bike when I get it. I'm excited.

Till Next Year

While I am sweeping up and locking up all the chemicals, I'd like to say Happy New Year to the guy's and all of the fine folks that have made me feel welcome since Fixer invited me to make my messes around here.

Remember what I always say, Don't buy cheap tools, thats how ya get yer knuckles busted,and if ya can't be good, stay sanitary.

Be safe.

Brand F Icon Alert

You Brand F guys, and you know who you are, will like this.

"By May 1991 I was driving the pace car at the Indianapolis 500. Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, just back from Iraq, was grand marshal and I drove him around the track once at 150 mph. Later, he found out I'd had a heart transplant. He said, 'I had a couple of close calls in Desert Storm but nothing like that ride.' "

Mazda Furai

It looks like a sci-fi,steroid enhanced tadpole to me but you gotta know it's fast. A 450 HP, 3 rotor Mazda rotary engine decked out in Le Mans finery.
Take a close look at the nose and sides and tell me they didn't spend a ton of time in a wind tunnel with this thing.
This is a proto type, and they are famous at the American Le Mans series for using state of the art engineering and aerodynamics to try and edge out the competition for bragging rights.
Here is a quote from the article;

"Furai takes Mazda's unique Nagare (Japanese for "flow") design language a step further as it is translated into a concept car based on an American Le Mans Series (ALMS) racing car. The car utilizes the Courage C65 chassis the company campaigned in the ALMS series only two seasons ago, and the 450-hp three-rotor rotary engine that distinguishes it from anything else on the track."








"Flow" certainly comes to mind when looking at the aero styling on the front of the thing.

Original article here, where I also got the pictures.

Timesaver

When me'n Mrs. G pulled into our motel last Satiddy evening, this pickup was there. I asked the owner if he had any problems, thinking I might help.

His reply was, "Naw, I just drive around like that. Saves time."

I should have known. Usually you see these like that by the side of the road. If they make it to a parking lot, they're OK.

You may believe that or not, as you wish.

That truck never moved from that spot until Wednesday A.M. although he did close the hood. Note also the sterling parking job, one of my pet peeves in The Land Of Never Enough Parking Spaces. That thing must have appeared a lot wider from the driver's seat than it actually is.

Knowing that there may be just the teensiest bit of good-natured brand rivalry around this joint, you may ask if I would have posted that pic were it some other make. Well you may ask...

Merry Christmas From The Crew.

Fixer is enjoying the holidays with his lovely wife in Germany, visiting relatives and having a blast from what I can tell.
Gordon has been being a naughty boy but I don't think he gives a shit about Santa Claus and his damn list.
If he wants something, he'll order it, thankyouverymuch.
That leaves me, the low man on the totem pole, to stop by and wish you all Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.
I will be spending a couple of months at my parents while they go galavanting all over the country side in their motorhome.
That will give me access to the toobz after work and God help ya.

And if you thought I was kidding about Gordo, I have proof;

This is what he is sending out for Christmas cards this year.

Heh, heh, I almost sent him exactly the same damn thing.
Santa?
2 lumps of coal, to go.

An idle mind...

Sometimes I just ain't got enough to do...

This is a trailer from The Thing with Two Heads, which marked my movie daybyoo. I'm in the scene where the Ford knocks over the fire hydrant, though not in this clip. The 'fire hydrant' was a prop of course, and was yanked out of the way by a coupla grips while another one turned on a carefully hidden hose. If you ever take leave of your senses enough to actually watch this turkey, I'm the guy in the blue Goodyear jacket with yellow stripes, next to Ekins' Honda 600 who gets showered by the hydrant.

Also notice the two guys who are so amazed at the two-headed thing in the motocross race that they unload off their bikes into a mudhole. They did this by the simple expedient of tyin' off their front forks to a pole. One of the guys got up and walked away, but the other, Paul Nuckles, got the handlebars right in his chest when he went by. It knocked the wind out of him a split second before he went face down into a foot of muddy water. He just laid there. No one moved to help him until the director hollered "Cut!". Real pros, these movie guys. I was there that day, and I loaded him onto a sidecar rig and hauled him to a water truck, laid him under the nozzles and turned it on.

Ah, the glamor of showbiz...

At the time, this flick set a record for the number of cars wrecked. In one scene you can see Bud Ekins upside down in a cop car in one of his very few speaking roles.

Rent this (if you can find it!), light up a fattie, and be dazzled.

Finally, A Good Use For A Chevy Small Block

You should see the one made out of a 3406 Cat motor,it's suitable for large gatherings.

Hey Fixer, while yer in Germany...

...if yer wonderin' what to get me for Christmas, one o' these'll do. And translate the song too, please. It sounds kinda familiar, but nicked sprekken zee doytch...

And Now, Something Completely Different

Hold on tight Gord, this is a little intense.

Jesus Built My Hot Rod

H/T Phoenix Woman from a thread at TBogg's new joint.

The Great Von Dutch Auction of 2007

Every hotrod and bike enthusiast knows who Von Dutch was. Well, those of us of a certain age, anyway. I met the guy several times. A real character, a friend of Bud Ekins and Steve McQueen.

BTW, I just got my dead tree Cycle World the other day. It has a nice article on Bud in the wake of his passing. I can't find it on line yet, but here's the subhead:

"We all wanted to be Steve McQueen. McQueen wanted to be Bud Ekins."

Now that's a tribute! I'll try to find it later.

Cycle World has an article on the big Von Dutch Auction. Go read. Be sure to hit the Auction Gallery. Have fun.

Cars ...

Since 'Nucks has been posting pics of some great cars (yes, even the Bullitt car; it is a Mustang after all, heh ...), I figured I'd post one of mine. This is the Indian's '23 Ford T. The motor is one of mine, 302 CID, and the Indian and Mrs. Indian did all the rest.

Click to embiggen.

They've taken trophies at a buncha the local shows and it's a really fun ride.

Later, man ...

He was the guy who inspired me to do stupid shit with motor vehicles. I owe him a lot for the fun I've had over the years. We'll hoist one when I get there, Evel.