Oh boy ...

Now we're pretty sharp and on the ball, but sometimes the planets align (along with Harry's mojo) to throw us a curve we can't deal with. Today was one of those days. Harry, in his wisdom, booked Mr. H and Mr. S in with their red 2000 Ford Windstars on the same day. Both needed an inspection. Both had engine control problems (same problems by the way). Both were a quart low on oil.

Click pis to enredden. Sorry about the quality, I took 'em with my phone.

We forgot if we did the safety part of the inspection on one or the other. One of 'em also needed a new wiper motor. Almost put the new one on the wrong car. Writing up the bills later, we forgot which one we did what on. Oy, what a fucking day. We told Harry that if he ever does that again we were gonna shoot his ass.

A Diesel Powered Bike?

The Marines have one now.

The following article is from the New York Times, written by Dexter Ford.

I clipped a little more than I really wanted to but I also left quite a bit of relevant information there so please go read the whole thing.



Other American and NATO military machines, from diesel generators to stealth bombers, run on JP-8 to simplify fuel supply logistics. While JP-8, a formulation of jet fuel similar to kerosene and diesel fuel, works fine in those engines, commercially available motorcycles require gasoline.

That situation presented an opportunity for Fred Hayes, chief executive of Hayes Diversified Technologies, a military contractor in Hesperia, Calif., that has built specially adapted motorcycles for the Marines and the Army Special Forces for more than two decades. The bikes are modified to run in the harshest environments on earth with special lighting and more rugged suspensions and tires.

When the Marines requested a motorcycle that would run on JP-8, other military contractors proposed outlandish turbine-powered machines. But the Marines wanted a bike that would actually work, and soon, at a reasonable cost. Hayes won the contract.

The resulting HDT M103M1 uses the chassis, a few engine components and all the internal transmission parts of the Kawasaki KLR650, a workhorse capable of anything from daily commuting to Sahara exploring. But the Marine machine’s major engine components are all new, built for diesel service.

The difference was apparent the instant I thumbed the starter button. In place of the gasoline-powered KLR’s anxious idle, the Marine machine came to life with the low clatter of a London taxi.

In contrast to a gasoline engine, which responds instantly to the throttle, a blip of the twist grip resulted in — well, not much. It took a good three seconds for anything significant to happen.

On a half-hour test ride, the M103M1, though sluggish at first, gathered speed with dogged insistence. The footpegs and handlebars buzz as the engine revs — the counterbalancer that controls vibration in the stock KLR has been omitted to save weight and reduce complexity. Shifting through the five-speed gearbox gets the M103M1 past 90 miles an hour, a speed it will hold, apparently, until the end of time.

One of the great advantages of the M103M1’s diesel engine is its efficiency. At a steady 55 m.p.h. it gets 96 miles a gallon, according to Hayes, about twice the mileage of the gasoline engine.

This is really pretty damn cool, when the production starts keeping up with demand these things are going to be all over the world.
Looking at the size of the fuel tank I am guessing this thing will go at least 500 miles on a tank of fuel.

Mechanics Are Nasty

Everything you have ever heard about mechanics being nasty perverts is probably true, there is a reason most women would rather walk over hot coals than walk into a repair shop.
I will never as long as I live forget this one old guy I worked next to for years.
Hell of a nice old guy, real quiet with a dry sense of humor.
He never had a whole lot to say and when he did you had to listen good because he talked so quiet.
One hot summer day both bay doors were open to let the breeze through and this gorgeous hottie came strolling through one end of the shop, wearing a halter top and a flimsy see through skirt.
Instantly you could have heard a pin drop in a garage over hundred feet long, with twenty mechanics staring like they had just seen Jesus.
As she sauntered by, I heard the old man say something I couldn't believe came out of his mouth.

"Look at that would ya boy, I'd let her pee in my face for sure".

I thought I was gonna die laughing,fucking bastard.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of HIM to say such a thing.
Of course the young lady didn't hear what HE said but she stopped and looked at me like I was retarded.

Ahhh, good times.
I hadn't thought of that for ages, until I saw this angel.

Cross Posted at Ornery Bastard.

Eye Candy Revisited

200cc Triumph, late '60s. I've got 2¼ of these.

While I was cruisin' back issues of F & G, I ran across this post from Dec. '06.

Well, the photos available have gone from 30 to 71. The guy's been busy at the Up-N-Smoke Engine Project. Go see.

An Entertaining Review

In one of the most entertaining reviews of a car in recent memory,writer Dan Neil
takes the new Lexus hot rod out for a spin, I'll let you see what he thinks, strike that, I HAVE to tease you with one piece first;

The car also sings. The IS-F is equipped with an eight-speed automatic transmission, in which the gear ratio intervals are very evenly spaced. Eight speeds happen to correlate to eight notes of the diatonic scale -- do, re, mi, etc. If you hold the throttle and speed steady, and you shift up and down with the shifter paddles, you can actually coax simple melodies out of the stacked-pipe quad exhaust, for instance, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." And, yes, I get paid for this.

snip

Now go read the rest.

It's That Time Again

Today's Daytona 5oo marks the opener for another ten month long season of NASCAR.

I will be the first one to admit I don't follow it nearly as much as I used to.
I know guy's who can rattle off statistics for it like die hard baseball fans can tell you who was on second base in the fourth World Series.
Get a grip.

I grew up with racing, my dad raced little British cars and later Motocross bikes in the seventies.
It can be lots of fun and I do go see a few races over at PIR later in the year but some of this is just overkill.

I watch and enjoy as much as I want and I find it hard to even keep up with who is driving for whom in what kind of car anymore.
I did notice Ford has a much thinner herd in the run this year, oh well, the amount of money it takes to sponsor one team for one year is getting obscene and Chevy and Ford both are looking at some hard times ahead in the sales department.

Good luck to the new talent and old alike.

Where I work* ...

Sam the Fashionista! My road call jacket, her funky orange hat. I betcha they saw her from the space station. Heh ...

Click to increase the glare.

Mrs. F made the mistake of letting me get a cell phone with a camera this week.

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

General Who?

LATimes

Roland Sands has spent the last year peeling the skins off dirt bikes, reaching deep inside their body cavities. What he's found are the bikes' unlikely alter-egos.

The Super Single idea is so new that Wikipedia doesn't have an entry -- yet -- but when it does, it might go something like this: "A 450 Super Single is a single-cylinder 450-cc dirt bike that's been converted into an entry-level road racer. The frame, subframe, swing arm, motor and transmission are all stock, but the wheels, tires, suspension and bodywork have all been modified for on-track use and general skulduggery."

General skulduggery? Now ya got me interested...

Actually, it makes perfect sense if you've ever seen a good 500 single show its taillight to a Fastass Sumbichi 4-cylinder on a canyon road. They're light, narrow, and have a low center of gravity.

Mad Sunday

Since we're goin' fast in the twisties today, here's a coupla videos from the Isle of Man TT. 'Mad Sunday' is the official name of a couple of periods of a coupla hours each when the Mountain Circuit is open to the public. They bring in extra ambulances for this.

First, a video of a BMW R1150GS, which is not a roadracer. The interesting thing is the speedo and tach on camera, and also the amplified engine noise behind the fairing as perceived by the mic on the camera. Sounds like a cement mixer fulla walnut shells! About ten minutes.



Next, a much shorter video of a 1000cc Gixxer. You can read the speedo really well on this one. Scares me...

Curves ...

Much as I love racing in all its forms, my favorite is on a road course. I love curves, and not only on da wimmins. Reader Mr. Natural turned me on to this YouTube of a Cobra chasing a motorcycle and it brought back fond memories of a hell ride I took in a Corvette on the Merritt Parkway in Connecticut (CT-15).



There was another Mrs. F and I took down Westlake Boulevard in California (CA-23) from the 101 to the Pacific Coast Highway in a rented V8 Dodge Dakota pickup. By the time we reached PCH, I had that truck so twisted every panel rattled. Heh ...

Which, in turn, reminds me of this tune:

Counting Crows - A Long December

Amazing how my deranged little mind works, ain't it?

Surrounded By Swamps And Bored?

Find yourself an old tractor, a canoe, some ski's and a drivetrain, then build yourself a

========== SWAMP BUGGY!! ==========












I about fell out of my chair the first time I stumbled onto these while channel surfing a few years ago.

I couldn't figure out WHAT the hell it was I was seeing!
When they are skimming around the track, the only thing you can see is the cockpit sticking out of a giant spray of water.

This is mud bogging on steroids.
They have all kinds of classes, both sexes and some of these things are damn serious machines.

They are a HOOT to watch!
If you ever find yourself sitting in front of the TV bored on a Saturday or Sunday in the Summertime, try and catch one of these shows.

I snagged these pictures from Mike Johnson, at his website.

If they do this in New York ...

I'm fucked:

MESA, Ariz.- A pair of vans deployed by the state Department of Public Safety last week to electronically nab speeders are just the tip of the iceberg.

The DPS intends to install up to 120 fixed speed-enforcement cameras alongside rural highways and urban freeways in coming years, according to documents obtained by the East Valley Tribune newspaper under a public records request.

...

Where I work* ...

It's been a while since I posted here. Apologies.

Hood Ornament Harry

Mrs. S is a sweet little old lady, though she's about 150 years old and shouldn't drive. She pulls into the lot last week with both side view mirrors blown off her Saturn. Now, this poor little car doesn't have a straight panel on it, bounced it off everything on the narrow streets in town and her garage. Every three months or so, I put a new side view on her car. It was a double this time. Heh ...

So, as I said, she pulls into the lot, swerves a left right off the Avenue in front of me as I'm trying to pull this crew cab Silverado pickemup truck into the shop. Thank god I saw the white roof of the Saturn in front of the push bar before I drove into the driver's door. I blow the horn and she looks around vacantly, not noticing the grille of the big Chevy a foot from her window. I get out, get her attention by tapping on the window, and motion her over next to the dumpster. Fine. She moves without hitting anything and I get the truck into the shop.

Since I got real work to do, Harry goes out to Mrs. S (who's still in her car) with his book to write down the vehicle info and send her on her way. We get the mirrors in a day and she comes in to get them installed. Five minutes later, Harry comes back in and calls for the new mirrors. I look out the window and see Mrs. S backing up to get out of the lot, straight for another customer's car. Harry sees it too and runs out, yelling at her to stop. Happily she sees him and hits the brake. Just in time.

Harry goes to her door and asks if she wants him to turn the car around so it's pointing at the street. Now, her window doesn't go down because the door has been banged up so much, so she opens the door to hear Harry. She says yes, but leaves the car in 'reverse'. Harry yells at her to put it in 'park'. Who the Hell knows what she heard, but she hit the gas. The car lurches backward and the door catches Harry, launching him across the hood of the other customer's car, just as Mrs. S' car backs into it. Ain't seen Harry move that quick in a long time. Heh ...

Thankfully there was no damage, to Harry (the old man was sore for a couple days though) or the other customer's car. We got Mrs. S pointed the right way and turned her loose after assuring her Harry would survive. While we can laugh at it now, there's a buncha old folks who shouldn't be driving. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do and it's up to their families to take action to get them off the road. From personal experience, it's a difficult thing to do, especially in places like Long Island where mass transit isn't exactly old-friendly but Mrs. S, and a lot of sweet little old ladies like her, is gonna kill somebody one day. Hopefully it ain't one of us.

I Pity Mr. T

Mrs. T is a little woman, about 98 pounds, just over 5 feet tall, a transplant from Georgia who married a local boy and moved back here. They don't have any kids but they have a little Yorkshire Terrier named Danny. Now, Mrs. T had this Mitsubishi Montero that she loved. It was the sport model, so it had the bigger V6 and was fun to drive. It wasn't that big so she and Danny (they go everywhere together) could zip in and out of the narrow streets in town. It had a lot of miles on it, so Mr. T was a good guy and bought her a Christmas present. Nice guy, right? Heh ...

Mrs. T and Danny show up the other day in the Christmas present for its first oil change. He goes and buys her a GMC Denali XL, big 6.2 liter V-8, every bell and whistle, fucking thing is the size of a Greyhound bus, barely fits in the shop.

She and Danny come to pick it up and ask her how she likes it.

1 - "The thing is so big, it takes me a half hour to get down the Avenue."

2 - "I can't park it anywhere on the street because somebody's already hit the mirror."

3 - "It's a bitch to turn corners with and it takes forever to find a parking space big enough."

4 - "But Danny likes it."

No shit. Fucking thing's a playground for the little dog. "So why'd ya get it?" I ask her.

"I didn't," she says. "This is my husband's idea of practical. I'm gonna kill him, bless his heart."

Sucks to be Mr. T. Heh ...

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

Hey Gord?

Fuck that 'Vette,
I want one of THESE!!

The End Of An Era

General Motors now has a reason to pull it's head out of the sand and start getting serious about a few things.
Quality products for one,putting hybrid and electric vehicles on a fast track for two.

It's a safe bet that the days of the Hummer are limited, it was a niche market anyway.

GM is going to have to get real serious about costs too, something they whine about constantly.

GM, Toyota in Dead Heat in 2007 Sales

WAPO,
By TOM KRISHER
The Associated Press
Wednesday, January 23, 2008; 10:04 AM

DETROIT -- General Motors Corp.'s 76 years of global sales supremacy is ending, as totals for 2007 released on Wednesday showed the automaker in a virtual tie with Toyota Motor Corp.

GM said it sold 9,369,524 vehicles worldwide last year, up 3 percent from 2006. Earlier this month, Toyota reported global sales of 9.37 million vehicles, but the Japanese automaker did not release a number down to the last vehicle, leaving the sales race too close to call.

Detroit-based GM has held the title of world's largest automaker since the 1930s, but Toyota's strong U.S. growth and GM's U.S. sales decline helped Toyota move closer to the top spot in recent years.
snip

Better Living Through Chemistry

Better Plastic From Detroit?

By William Diem

DETROIT — One nice thing about being a journalist on the show floor during press days is that you run into people who have answers to your nagging questions.

Ever wonder why Toyota interiors are better than those from Ford or Chevrolet?

snip

Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have had less money than their competitors to spend on car projects because they had to spend so much for pensions and health care, Mr. Cole said. And because interiors are the last part of a car to get commitments for investment, that is where corners are cut when the money runs out.

According to Mr. Cole, thanks to new contracts signed last fall with the union workers, G.M. will save $5,000 per car by 2010 and be on a level playing field with Toyota. And the first place consumers may notice a difference is better quality in future interiors.

And here I always thought we had the best plastic shit.
Who knew?

New Vette, New Price, New Top End

Better start looking under the couch cushions now, Gord.
Estimated to cost a Hunnert Grand.
602 HP, 200MPH flat out.
It's a quick little Devil, but whatever you do, DON"T SCRATCH IT!!!

General Motors says that the clear coat paint additive used on top of the carbon-fiber parts costs $60,000 a gallon, which breaks down to $900 a car. As for the rest of the car, Mr. Danahy said, “We tried not to go too crazy with the appearance.”

Jeez Mareze!

The original article is from the Automobile section of the NY Times.

I couldn't afford to pay anymore attention.

NOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!

The V-8 is dead

According to this article

The Vette and the Caddy CTS-v are the last holdouts, both using derivatives of Chevrolet's venerable 1955 Small block.

Now everyone is focusing on Direct Fuel Injection and Turbo'd 4 bangers and V-6's.

Long Live The V-8

This Is Exciting, I Just Punked Myself!

No batteries, gas, oil, or coolant.
A regenerating super efficient electric motor, with an automatic behind it.
You can use this thing to make electricity for your house, barn, you name it.
This is fantastic.


H/T to my buddy Dale, my Dad's oldest friend.


Cross posted at Ornery Bastard

Update
I've had Bullshit called so take it at face value until I can look into it.
I put it up right after getting it.


Update two
OHHHKAY, I see where I screwed up now. A nice gentleman pointed out the way I said regenerating violates the second law of thermodynamics.
Gotta love Google, I didn't have a clue.

Second Law of Thermodynamics - Increased Entropy
The Second Law of Thermodynamics is commonly known as the Law of Increased Entropy. While quantity remains the same (First Law), the quality of matter/energy deteriorates gradually over time. How so? Usable energy is inevitably used for productivity, growth and repair. In the process, usable energy is converted into unusable energy. Thus, usable energy is irretrievably lost in the form of unusable energy.

Thus the word regenerative would imply something along the lines of a perpetual motion machine, my bad.
I did find a reference to Mr. Reed and his remarkable engine here;
Conspiracy Central.
It concludes that attempts to locate Mr. Reed were unsuccessful.

Update 3.

Turns out he never did have a self sustaining motor and the video is bogus.
Nice.
Thats what I get for getting excited and putting it up without thinking critically.

My sincere apologies.

Go here for what happened and where it stands as of right now.

H/T One Fly for pointing me to the error of my ways.
Thanks bud.

Ford, Jaguar, and Royal Enfield

From AFP via Raw Story:

The US automaker Ford on Thursday named Tata Motors of India as the preferred buyer of Ford's luxury Jaguar and Land Rover models.

Why not? Indian concerns have some history of taking over English companies.

For instance, Royal Enfield motorcycles. This make started making bikes in England in 1901 and ceased production in 1970. A good history here.

These sleds started being manufactured under licence in India in 1955 and are still being manufactured there today. As a matter of fact, they are still building basically the 1955 model! The bikes have been upgraded over time, of course, but they are the last old-style "Limey" sleds still available as brand new.

Since Mrs. G got a new bike earlier in the year, we figured it was only fair that I get one too. Since she's planning to retire later this year, the theory is we better get new shit while we're still under the delusion that we have money. We've been working this theory like a red-headed stepchild. She also got a new icebox and range, and I got a new dishwasher. These three items match for the first time in our lives! We figure a) they're the last we'll need, and b) at our age, they probably won't wear out. There are other acquisition plans in the works as well, but I digress.

I made a deal with my friend Larry to buy his Indian Enfield. An '04 model (I think, but they're kinda all the same so it doesn't really matter) with 150 miles on it and a shitpot fulla spares and accessories. We've been talking about this for almost a year, and now that the bike has been offered, and the offer accepted (the sword fighting over the price took all of ten seconds), naturally he wants it out of his garage right now!. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. The bike's in L.A. and I'm 500 miles and 80 feet up a snow-covered driveway away. Soon, Larry, soon...

Check out Royal Enfield's U.S. site for a good look at some of these old-fashioned bikes.

Really, the whole point of this post was to tell the following story, which I swear is absolutely true:

The other day I had occasion to call a customer service number, for what doesn't matter. The gent had an Indian accent so I asked him where he was. India. I had to ask, I've heard the same accent on the phone to Texas, and in any case I always ask where folks at 800 numbers are located just out of curiosity.

I mentioned that I had just bought an Indian Enfield and this is how he replied:

"Oh yes! I am having one of those in 1999-2000. Very pleasant to drive! Also very heavy when it is laying on my leg..."

Ya can't make this shit up, folks.

More on the new bike when I get it. I'm excited.