19 July 2004

Slow news day

In Knoxville. Via Bubba:

A Maryville man spent his 23rd birthday in custody after police said they found him early Sunday running nude from the John Sevier pool snack bar with a box of stolen snacks.

Authorities said the man had apparently scaled an 8-foot tall fence while naked and covered in nacho cheese and was seen running toward a Jeep in which officers found clothing and an open bottle of vodka.

. . .[The suspect, Michael P.]Monn was charged with burglary, theft of property less than $500, vandalism less than $500 and public intoxication. He was also cited with indecent exposure. . .

[. . .]

[Maryville Police Officer Scott]Spicer reported at 3:38 a.m. Sunday he saw a Jeep CJ-7 in the parking lot of the pool and saw an open bottle of vodka in the console along with various articles of clothing. Minutes later, a nude man carrying a cardboard box ran toward the Jeep before Spicer stopped him and found the box filled with Frito Lay snacks and a container of nacho cheese.

``In addition, the male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders,'' Spicer reported. ``The nude male had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent.''

Details here.

They sure know how to have fun up in them thar hills.

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