New BMW ad? Maybe not...

I got this from my pal Gary, who's the dealer liaison for the Triumph motorcycle distributor in Australia.

Clicken zie to embiggenische

And So It Ends

Ford has decided to shut down the Mercury line after 71 years.

I worked at a Lincoln/ Mercury dealearship for ten years. A fancy Ford was a Mercury, they came with A/C and some different tail lights, chrome, and some other ammenities to make them stand out.
The end of an era and here is as good as any requiem.

Back in the day, Mercury was a powerhouse apart from the mundane, much like Pontiac was to Chevy.

RIP.

Putting in my papers ...

Finally.

I'd had it with the car business years ago. Just burnt out and tired of all the crap so this past week I gave Nunzio notice that I'd be packing it in at the end of October. I was finished 2 years ago, when I left Harry's, and had it not been for Nunzio's guy leaving him suddenly, I wouldn't be doing it this long. It's enough.

Once upon a time, I used to love cars; working on them, talking about them, driving them but I've been doing this for close to 40 years (overhauled my first motor, a Buick Straight-8, when I was 10 years old) and been getting paid for it for the better part of 35. I can't stand 'em anymore. I have to talk myself into going to work every morning and it gets worse every day. It's one of the reasons I've basically ignored this blog for a while. Just can't bring myself to deal with it when I'm home.

Now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not an oncoming train, I've got a few things to say about the business.

Car Makers:

I hope all of you fall on financial hard times. You deserve it. Not the good folks who break their ass for you on the lines and in the dealerships, but those of you white collar assholes, from the corporate/management types to the engineers. Are any of you car guys anymore? Have any of you worked on the crap you foist on the American people? Do any of you think about what it takes to service the pieces of shit you design and how much extra it costs your, and my, customers because designing something that's easy to maintain is the last thing on your minds? I bet customers $5 that they can't find the oil filter on their cars. Shit, on some cars, I gotta look at the manual so I know where it's hidden. What the fuck? I gotta put my hands on it every 3 months or 3000 miles, why the fuck you gotta hide the bastard, you bloody simpletons?

You've turned cars into plastic shitboxes (even the most expensive). Try disconnecting a plastic vacuum line (or fuel line) when it's cold, or the little fucking plastic clips that hold door panels or interior parts on, or electrical connectors; old and dry. It's ass-puckering trying to take anything apart, waiting to hear that little "flink" and see a piece of plastic shit go flying away, needed to lock a connector or panel in place and now broken.

Cars have gone from being "driving machines" to people's living rooms. There are more lights, TV screens, automatic this and that, but actually driving the car is more of an afterthought. Half the crap today has more blind spots than a semi truck, yet shit beeps and lights go on when you get close enough to something else. Your car tells you everything, when to get the oil changed, when the tires are low, when your window washer fluid is low (my new car will even email me when it's pissed off about something), and most folks disregard the shit anyway. Either that or it scares them to death. Jesus Christ, owners manuals are now several volumes and look like the manual for the Space Shuttle.

And aside from all that; since 1973 (the first gas crisis), we've known the internal combustion engine was a dinosaur. Its essential parts haven't changed much in a century; Henry Ford would recognize an engine for what it was, and while we've refined them, they're basically hundred year old technology. Oh yeah, there are more bells and whistles; engines are tunable to forty times a second to produce fuel economy, low emissions, and horsepower per cubic inch that we couldn't have dreamed when I got into this business. Thing is, a hundred years later, we're still burning gasoline or diesel. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Parts Places:

You're almost as useless as tits on a bull. Auto parts isn't a profession anymore, it's a minimum wage job and those (generally) who work behind the counter don't know shit about a car, let alone what they're selling. Used to be, a parts man knew about how shit worked together and could make recommendations as to brand and quality. Nowadays, even at NAPA dealers, you get whatever shit they get a deal on from the manufacturer or rebuilder. I've replaced 3 alternators over the course of 6 months in the same car because of crap rebuilds. Yeah, they replace them under warranty but they don't pay me for doing the job twice, or thrice, and the customers sure as hell don't give a shit I can't get a reliable part, they look at me like I'm some kind of fuckup. I'm the guy they see and it's my responsibility, ain't it? They ain't coming to you bitching when they have to pay for a tow because the rebuilt alternator (or brake caliper, or starter) decides to take a shit a month after I install it. Whores.

Car Dealership Service Departments:

You, single-handedly, have done more to destroy the reputation of mechanics than any other cause. It's called "upsell" and you all do it so well. It's a dictum that no one leaves a dealership service department without buying something. Take your car in for warranty or recall work and see what happens. You get a laundry list of things wrong with your car, from the brakes to some kind of service, to a cooling system flush, to a tire rotation, that "you really should have done now before something bad happens". And they get you for a thousand bucks. And people wonder why everybody thinks most mechanics are crooks. Rotten fucking scumbags.

Car Makers, Fastener Makers, and Tool Companies:

All of you are in it together. What the fuck happened to hex-head nuts and bolts? What ever happened to Phillips or Slotted head screws? Fuck no. The fastener guys dream up some new way to tighten a bolt and sell it to the car makers. Once they incorporate it into their line, the tool guys have to make a new wrench, or socket, or special fitting, to remove the fucking thing properly (without breaking or stripping). Mechanics spend hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year just keeping up at Snap-On, Mac, Matco, S-K, Gearwrench, Craftsman, or any of the others. The boss sure ain't buying me what I need. You should see how many sockets, wrenches, cups, and pliers I have just to take off the million different oil filters that come on cars nowadays.

K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Jiffy Lube, Sears and the others:

You have done more than anyone to take the profession of mechanic and put it in the same league as burger flipper. You pay your 'mechanics' nothing, you work them to death, and most of them don't know any more than to change oil, mount tires, and change batteries. You shouldn't be allowed to have auto repair facilities.

Most of my customers:

Most of you are self-centered pieces of shit.

Let's see:

You make an appointment for tomorrow, don't show up, don't call to cancel, and then leave your car (before we get in, drop the keys through the mail slot) three weeks later unannounced, and expect us to drop what we're doing and get the job done "because you need it by noon".

You call for an NY State inspection and we ask if the "check engine light" is on and you say no. You drop it off and it's burning brightly. The inspection expires tomorrow, but you need the sticker because you are leaving on vacation tonight, driving to Florida.

Your biggest concern is the red paint on your beautiful white car (came a little close to something, didja?) yet heaven forbid you'd come in and get your oil changed a little more regularly than 15K intervals. Yeah, the car looks nice but the motor will be junk long before the paint fades.

You bring your car in for a service, brake job, and exhaust work and you "can let me have it for an hour".

You let me know you're looking for a used car. I tell you to let me look at it first before you buy it. You go buy it, disregarding my admonition, and then cry when you bring it in when I tell you it needs a lot of work for it to pass inspection. Told ya to bring it to me first, idiot.

You're a rich fuck and you cry about every dime you gotta spend on your "baby" that cost as much as somebody else's house.

You think you know about cars so you sit there and tell me what I should do, how I should do it, and what parts to use. Do it yourself, dickhead.

I could go on but you get the point. Just can't do it anymore, both mentally and physically. I got a bum shoulder, hip, and knees, in addition to arthritis in most of my fingers. Can't do another winter. It isn't fun anymore, no challenge and too much headache. I'm tired of coming home cold and tired, or hot and tired, or wet and tired, or all of the above. I'm tired of cuts, bruises, busted knuckles and fingers. I'm tired of being spooged with chemicals, boiling oil, and coolant.

I'm done and I'm looking forward to doing something, anything, else.

Space Age Stone Axe

Great vid from our pal peckhammer. He has lots more motorcycle vids there and at blip.tv as well.

The 2010 Royal Enfield Classic C5 Bullet is a retro bike more accurately described as "vintage evolution." If you had purchased a Bullet ten years ago, you would have found it to be a nearly exact copy of a 1956 bullet; same soft aluminum cases and timing covers, same points-style ignition, same motor, and same manufacturing methods from five decades ago. That's changed over the last few years, after tough emissions standards prompted Royal Enfield to design a completely new unit construction engine, complete with electronic fuel injection and a catalytic converter.

It also has hydraulic lifters and a front disc brake and still manages to look even older than my '01!

Get Out Your Wallet Gord

Here is a wet dream come true dude.

11 New 1975 Norton Commandos Found in Belgium!





Jesus, I am getting a woody just typing about these things.. What a score!

You know damn well these little jewels are long gone for serious cash money.

Bermuda Cub

Fixer, slip a few of these back from Bermuda in your luggage. If they're all in as good shape out there as this 45 year old example, I'll take one, shiny aftermarket rims, incorrect front fender and all!

Thanks to Bermuda1105, Bermuda.

AMA Hall of Fame Videos

The AMA Motorcycle Hall Of Fame is loaded with motorcycle history and a good place to look up stuff or while away some time and learn something.

Well, I just discovered the AMA Motorcycle Hall Of Fame Museum's YouTube channel. These are short (about 1:30) biographies of riders from way back when up 'til recently, narrated by Dave Despain. I saw vids on people I actually knew!

This gent was the Greeves and Hodaka dealer in North Hollywood. I had a Greeves in the '60s and got my parts from him and Mrs. G bought a Hodaka Wombat from him.



Go over there and scroll through their lineup. You'll probably find something to watch.

Winternationals turns 50

Good article in the LATimes:

Gasoline cost about 30 cents a gallon, John F. Kennedy was the new president and "Wagon Train" was the most popular show on television.

And in Southern California, a man named Wally Parks settled on a parcel of land next to the fairgrounds in Pomona in 1961 to establish the second major drag-racing event for his relatively new National Hot Rod Assn.

The event was called the Winternationals, and five decades later it remains among professional drag racing's signature contests, even as the sport has expanded nationwide and speeds of its top-flight cars have soared to more than 300 mph.

Here's something I didn't know:

But last year, the NHRA shortened its top-fuel and funny car races to 1,000 feet to slow down the cars, whose speeds had climbed to 330 mph.

Shit, real drag racing only needs the width of an intersection. I had a '68 Chevy pickup (Custom Cab, Chevy Truck 50th Anniversary Gold, $2750 brand new), 307 small block with 3-onna-tree that was geared so low it would only go about 90 flat-out, but it would beat anything away from a stoplight.

Back in those days, I got my flathead 6 '48 Plymouth M Stock tuned-up from "Too Slow To Time" (It actually said that on the timing slip they handed me) to 58MPH/21:47 by taking off the air cleaner and emptying the trunk. I mighta been slow, but I participated, if minimally, in the SoCal drag scene.

I actually blew off three M Stockers in a row at San Fernando Drag Strip - a '52 Merc, a Corvair, and a '53 Pontiac. The high point of my drag racing career came when I rolled up to the line again and the announcer said over the loudspeaker, "Here comes that nasty blue Plymouth again!". Of course, this time I ran against the M Stock World Champion Hudson that would do about 80 in the quarter. I think that guy was putting greasy palm prints on the trophy girl about the time I shifted into second. Heh. It was fun.

Oh God, the memories are flooding back...

I trophied that old Plymouth once at the 1/8th mile strip in Holly Ridge, North Carolina. They couldn't run anything faster than B Gas there because it would get stuck in the mud on the return road. They timed the runs with a stopwatch, I think. Real grass roots, down home place it was. The guy asked me what class I wanted to run, and I asked him what class had no one else in it. Took a downgrade to N Stock, but I made it to the other end of the strip and got the trophy. Big-time cherry-picker from California. Heh.

I actually had a header plug (exhaust cut-out) on that thing. Cost $2 at a muffler shop. Installed! I used to put washers in between the plug and the cap. It was more or less an exhaust leak, but it sounded great! Ah, the ignorance of youth. I pine for its loss sometimes, but at 64 I think I'm still a pretty good teenage bozo.

Enjoy that article. I sure did.

What The Hell Was Fixer Doing In Florida?

Just kidding, Fixer would have brought it back in one piece.




Mechanic traveling 163 mph in Porsche crashes in south Fort Myers

Routine maintenance on a 2008 Porsche Boxster took an unusual turn Thursday, when a Sanibel mechanic took the car on a wild test drive, reaching an estimated 163 mph, and crashed it.

Kenneth Kasten, 50, owner of the Sanibel Shell service station, was driving the Porsche on McGregor Boulevard near Punta Rassa Road at 6 a.m. when he lost control and flipped the car into some mangroves, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

The Porsche - owned by Nanelle Wehmann of Sanibel - was the only vehicle involved in the crash, which occurred in a 55-mph limit zone.

The FHP estimated the damage to the Porsche at $50,000.

Kasten wasn't seriously injured and left the scene before emergency crews arrived, Cpl. George Kantor of the FHP said. Alcohol is not believed to have been a factor in the crash.

Authorities arrived on scene to find the car smashed, abandoned and upside down.

Initial reports were that the car was stolen, but Kantor said it quickly became clear that Kasten had permission to drive the car.

Wehmann said she has been bringing her vehicles to the Sanibel Shell for years and was surprised to learn about the crash.

"I'm just thankful he wasn't hurt," she said.

Kantor said because Wehmann knew Kasten would drive the car, Kasten wasn't charged with theft.

Kasten was found a few hours after the crash hiding in a nearby parking lot and was given a notice to appear in court on charges of willful and wanton reckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash.

I once took a Lincoln Mark 8 on an extended test drive and hit 135 before I backed out of it, that was way fast enough for me.It was raining a little and the front end was starting to float.
The guy kept bringing it in bitching about a howling noise around the top of the windshield at high speed and no one could duplicate it because when he said high speed, they figured seventy miles an hour.
I finally talked to him and he said no, it started in around ninety.

I glued the shit out of the seal at the top of the windshield and never saw him again.

Cruise night returns to Van Nuys Boulevard

I remember Cruise Nights on Van Nuys Boulevard. They were fun to go watch. I never got in any trouble or saw much of the stuff that made the cops shut it down. I'm glad it's back, even as a shadow of its former self. That's probably a good thing.

By the way, the photo in the article shows a '62 Chrysler Newport, which none of us would've had up our ass in those days if we'da had room for a boxcar, but I guess anything old is cool now. Hmmmm. Some of us 'old stuff' have been so cool for so long that it's just a given and nobody even notices anymore...

LATimes

As the souped-up muscle cars, restored classics and lowriders cruise through the old Rydell Chevrolet lot on Van Nuys Boulevard, Reid Stolz takes stock of a scene that was familiar to anyone growing up in the San Fernando Valley a generation ago.

Here's the crux of the biscuit right off the bat:

"Remember when we were young and the cops were old?" said Stolz, 51, watching an LAPD patrol car glide by. "Now the cops are young and we're old."

After a 28-year break, Stolz and other car lovers have brought cruising back to "The Boulevard," though the drivers are now more likely to be middle-aged guys with graying hair and grandkids, driven by nostalgia rather than teenage vanity.

Yeah, how much trouble are a buncha old farts gonna cause anyway? Wait'll me an' Fixer an' Nucks show up...

It was more than just a scene, it was an iconic ritual that was imitated, written about in hot rod magazines and captured on film. Cruise night came to represent a Southern California lifestyle that young people in the Midwest and the world over could only read about. Cruising the boulevard on a Wednesday night was about adolescent freedom, a sense that anything was possible and, above all, fun.

Back then, young people just showed up every Wednesday night. Girls and boys by the hundreds milled on sidewalks as candy-colored cars blowing rubber smoke streaked by blasting Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd from eight-track stereos.

Led Zeppelin? Pink Floyd? 8-track? Holy crap! I went to those Cruise Nights waaaaay before that! Beach Boys and Bobby Rydell days! On AM radio.

I must be older than I thought. Sigh.

The tradition dates to the late 1950s when high schools in the San Fernando Valley held club meetings each Wednesday, said Jon Billesbach, 67, of North Hollywood.

Youths in car clubs would head to the boulevard after the meetings ended for street racing, he said. Later, everyone gathered at the Bob's Big Boy restaurants in Toluca Lake or Van Nuys.

Cruising reached its zenith in the 1970s, and the boulevard was its own teenager universe.

There were a lot of people older than teenagers, trust me.

Streets lamps bathed the bikers at Arby's in an arc of white light. The van guys parked outside the Heads 'N Highs head shop and the street racers converged at Bank of America. Latino youths parked their lowrider at the June Ellen Doughnut shop, just south of the 101 Freeway, Stolz said.

Here we go again - there weren't even any head shops when I went. There aren't any now either, although there may be again. Full circle and then some, I guess.

Pretty good article. Go read.

Memories

Here of late I've been digitizing my old photos. Here's some taken by Mrs. G at Adelanto Raceway in the late '70s.

Even with monkey Pat as far out as he can get, Larry's got the hack wheel in the air:

Click photos to embiggen

Lonnie off the line! Note his clutch and throttle control.He's not kickin' up much dirt with his rear wheel, and there's daylight under his front wheel. That's called 'hooked up'. He probably won:



Chuck 'Feets' Minert, for many years one of SoCal's best scrambles riders and factory BSA motocross rider on his ancient but fast BSA Catalina Scrambler:



My pal Sluggo (couldn't find a link to Wanted Posters). He once borrowed my 500 Triumph single, went out and trophied on it, and said it was the easiest bike to ride he'd ever rode. Grrrr...:



Pretty cool pics, huh?

Of course, when moi flies by, I'm so fast that everything but my plumber's crack outran her. Thanks a pile for making part of me famous, honey. I have no idea why I had a pencil in my pocket.



More like this later. You may run screaming into the woods at the thought now.

Since ...

Honda pays a lot of bills in the Fixer house, I figured I'd show their new commercial. If you're a Rube Goldberg fan like me, you'll love it, commercialism aside.

Vid stolen from Atrios.

Very Scary

Either this guy has balls of Tungsten or he is insane.
Check out this photographer snapping pictures as an out of control dragster slams the barrier at full throttle inches away from him.



Notice the concrete being shaved off the barrier and the wheel spinning.



More pictures and the full story here.

Then And Now

1955



2010 Mercedes SLS AMG Gullwing







That thing looks Bad Assed.

Check This Out

I cracked up just reading the name of this place.

That Will Buff Out.

It's a virtual "Glad that wasn't me" experience.
Although, I do resemble a few of those experiences, thankfully not this one,





H/T to our other Blog Buddy, Just An Earth Bound Misfit, I.

Before you die ...

In a runaway Toyota, SHUT. THE. FUCKING. CAR. OFF!

...

The 2009 Lexus ES 350 shot through suburban San Diego like a runaway missile, weaving at 120 miles an hour through rush hour freeway traffic as flames flashed from under the car.

At the wheel, veteran California Highway Patrol Officer Mark Saylor desperately tried to control the 272-horsepower engine that was roaring at full throttle as his wife, teenage daughter and brother-in-law were gripped by fear.

...

That's all. Turn the fucking key and the engine stops, and you coast to the side safely. WTF? Is this so hard?

Cross-posted at the Brain.

What is it with Krauts and sidecars in the desert?

This is what happens when ya listen to Grampa's tales of his motorcycling adventures in North Africa in '42...

Thanks to Winterbiker, Germany.

Oil Bath

Every old Britbike came standard with one or at least had one sometime during its life, but I never knew there was a patent on it! Norton must have made a lot of money on this over the years from licensing fees and royalties...

Norton's 1949 500 ohv single.

Thanks to 828cc, UK. Lotsa short clips of cool old rides.

Tokyo Motor Show

Crick to embiggen

Visitors surround Yamaha's new concept bike, the "Super Tenere", which features a traction control system, anti-lock brakes and other advanced technologies, at the Tokyo Motor Show in Chiba on October 21, 2009. Futuristic concept cars, plug-in hybrids, zero-emission electric vehicles and even a hydrogen-powered scooter jostled for the limelight as the Tokyo Motor Show kicked off on October 21.

Cars, bikes, oddball concepts, and pretty girls. Photos and not much of an article.

Go for a ride with me

Still testing the camera mount. Vibration level seems OK at cruising speed, still need to rubber mount it before old-fashioned long-stroke single vibrates modern electronics to bits. Heh. Moved it closer to center of bike, now it picks up too much wind noise, not enough exhaust note. I'll keep after this 'til I get it. It's fun.

This ride is out of my neighborhood and north on California SR 89 to the Hobart Mills turnoff. Note all the dirt haulers. That's a major industry around here.

Please enjoy a ride in the Sierra Nevada sun.

I never noticed the vibration before I saw it on the video. Now I do.

Note: No speed limits were seriously damaged during the filming of this video.

Thanks to me.

H-D to Discontinue Buell, Sell MV Agusta

Dealernews

Harley-Davidson plans to discontinue its Buell product line and divest its MV Agusta unit.

The move, approved Oct. 14 by Harley-Davidson's Board of Directors, is part of the OEM's new business strategy to drive growth through "a single-minded focus of efforts and resources."

Translation: Even though Buells are better motorcycles than Harley-Davidsons ever thought of being, the clowns that want H-Ds aren't buying them, and the guys who want cutting-edge sport and adventure bikes aren't either.

Also, an awful lot of H-Ds were bought by guys who cashed out during the housing bubble and that's over. Their bikes are expensive and they're hurtin' for customers.

MV Agusta apparently hasn't worked out too good for 'em either, probably for about the same reasons. I remember the last time H-D went with an Italian motorcycle company, Aermacchi, who brought us the H-D Sprint and other models that were eventually bulldozed, quite literally, into the dustbin of history. Duck, here it comes again!

Harley-Davidson, Inc. purchased 100 percent of MV Agusta Group shares for about $108 million in August 2008. At the time, MV was retailing 5,800-some bikes through a worldwide network of about 500 dealers.

H-D says it will immediately commence efforts to sell the business, which is based in Varese, Italy.

See a video from Erik Buell at www.Buell.com.

The guy looks like he just had his world jerked out from under him. He has.

Too bad, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. On the flip side, it looks like Mrs. G's got a classic.

The Little Old Lady From Pasadena Lives Again!

Go granny, go granny, go granny GO!


Let that be a lesson to all you young whippersnappers out there.
Granny will get yer ass with a 9.74 in the quarter.

The handbasket slows its descent a little...

Counterpoint to the post just below this one, or perhaps therapy after it, here's some big guys making big guy bikes:

Thanks to fowkes1968, UK.

Update:

Here's a Triumph dealership that knows what it's doing!

Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?

I knew about this, but just discovered this video:

Exclusive video inside the Loncin motorcycle factory in Chongqing, China where the BMW650GS engine is manufactured and then shipped to Germany.

For More details, full coverage and photographs visit www.bikeland.org

Here's a factory tour.

Here's one on engine and final assembly. Other than BMW.

Thanks to Bikeland, Anaheim CA.

China is the world's largest producer of motorcycles but I would say that most Chinese motorcycle production is meant to provide little sneezers to replace bicycles, donkeys, water buffaloes, and camels in an emerging Asian market. There are Chinese bikes and scooters here in the U.S. but they haven't caught on in a big way. The word I left out is 'yet'...

They're dirt cheap, but have no dealer network to speak of, and no track record as to reliability, parts availability, etc. For the most part they're funny lookin' too. The same could have been said of Honda and the Japanese motorcycle industry fifty years ago.

Also see: China wants to be your friend. Interesting. Scroll down for some cute if not overly endowed girls. Motorcycles too.

Heh ...

Put yer glasses on or click it to make it big.

I'll try anything once ...

Hurley-Pugh

I've had this in my bookmarks for years. If you like droll English motorcycle humor carried to wretched excess like I do, you will want to go see "Home of the Hurley-Pugh Owners & Enthusiasts Club". The site is very extensive, very, very clever, and is obviously a product of many truly wonderfully sick minds!

It will take days to see the whole site as once you get into it you'll want to see everything! Believe me, it's worth the effort.

Note: Hydrate well before going to the site. Don't even think about having anything to drink in the same room with you.

Also, if you think of the 'gh' in '-Pugh' as 'ke' you'll get the joke quicker.

On "Adjusting the Pugh-O-Spark magneto":

Magneto clearances should be checked at the regular 500 mile major service intervals.

Gaining Access

First remove any leg guards, fairing panels, engine bars and/or auxiliary fuel and oil tanks that may be blocking access to the engine. Such additions depend on the model. In the case of the Gentleman's Twin-Outrigger Combination, remove both sidecars. Remove the cylinder head and cylinder. Finally, remove the seat (remembering to "safe" the ejection charges if fitted), fuel tank, main oil tank, carburettor, spark plug, battery and starter motor.

On H-P's test rider:

Steerforth - An Appreciation

...of Captain Eric 'Killer' Steerforth MC, the famed Hurley-Pugh development rider and six-times TT challenger. Educated at Eton, a variety of crammers and the Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst, 'Killer' soon became well-known within his circle for his robust attitude to discipline and his enjoyment of the more esoteric field sports. A fine horseman, he was renowned throughout the Rutland country for his keenness to be in at the kill, often joining hounds on the ground and tussling them for a crack at the fox.

After a gallant career in the Army, serving throughout the First World War on the Western Front in a variety of roles, ranging from command of a rifle platoon at First Ypres, to command of a company on the first day of the Somme, to command of a battalion at Paschendaele, to a platoon command in Flintshire after an incident at the Bull Ring in Arras,
...

Who can forget that rangy, black-shirted figure on the howling Hurley-Pugh Manxman Excalibur Clubman as it wallowed through Ramsey, spreading its characteristic slick of waste oil over the road behind it, or the unforgettable sight of the tall figure, in its trademark long black leather coat, playfully shooting at the Scunthorpe apprentices with a Mauser Model 1892? Who will ever forget his Christmas party game of 'Pin The Tail On The Hebrew'? Certainly not Nat from Assembly!

Just go. Enjoy.

Customizing: The Disease Creeps In...

Well, I've had my Royal Enfield for fifteen months now, and it's been stock for too long. I added a set of OEM accessory leather saddlebags, and they look nice and work fine, but that was for utility. It's time to start making it a little different. Gotta start somewhere.

I got my Royal Enfield Online Store e-flyer a coupla weeks back and they had an aftermarket Ace Air Canister* air filter that reached outta my monitor and grabbed me by the stackin' swivel. It came on the big brown truck yesterday.

*While I was gettin' that link I wrote a short review of the product. They 'accepted it for moderation'. We'll see if they print it. It was generally favorable.

Here's the stock setup:

Click photos to embiggen

It took about two minutes to peel the stock parts out, and then I discovered, cleverly hidden out of sight - oh, the horror! - the most terrifying oxymoronic two words in motorcycling to come so close together:



Note to Lucas: Put the lawyers back in the box. I kid...

It was a pretty straightforward swap, although I did have to re-engineer the new bottom bracket a little. The canister missed it by about half an inch. 'Re-engineer' is a pretty high-falutin' term for grabbing the little aluminum strap with a Crescent wrench and tweaking it sideways.

The whole job took about fifteen minutes if ya don't count throwing tennis balls for my pup. Hyar 'tis ready to rock 'n roll:



I plan to replace the mickey mouse-lookin' wingnut on the top with a nice chrome dome nut. Clear the decks, Mountain Hardware, here I come! I could probably get one on my next trip to the Buell dealer, but I'd rather pay one dollar than ten. Heh.

Its makers claim that the air filter will increase performance, but frankly I doubt it. It probably won't even increase intake noise, as underpumped as these stock engines are. I have a replacement for the next part in, the one between the air filter and the cylinder head, that may in fact hop it up a little. Then there's that muffler...an' that barely bumpy li'l camshaft...an' those clogged-up as-cast ports...an'... More on all that as it develops unless they find a cure.

The Ace Air Canister looks real good. I think bikes should have round lines instead of square ones just like women, and for me this product does that.

Update:

The new air filter actually does increase the performance a little. My seat-mounted jeans-encased dyno doesn't print readouts, and you wouldn't want one if it did, but I can feel better acceleration and the exhaust note is slightly crisper.

Self-touching will begin in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...

I just got my weekly email from Ford Racing (still keep my finger on the pulse) and the photos of the 2010 Cobra Jet Mustang at the track are out. The engine makes me drool.

Click to increase displacement.

Looks like they had to lube the shock towers to slide that motor in there. Heh ... More at Ford Racing.

More on the new Cobra Jet here.

First kick? No, they all start on the last kick...

I got this post from this blog. This is probably some corollary to Murphy's Law:

Royal Enfield motorcycles delight in making you look like a fool in front of friends, loved ones, and, especially, attractive members of the opposite sex. How does an inanimate object know that, instead of merely trying to go someplace, you are trying to show off your ability to kick start a mighty beast into life?

I don't know. But my Royal Enfield Bullet knows. To foil me it has moved its own kill switch into the "off" position, and developed instantaneous fuel starvation or flooding.

The fortunate thing is that when the friend, loved one or attractive person gets bored and wanders off, the Royal Enfield will cheerfully return to full operational duty. It's not disloyal; it just wants to keep you humble.

All true.

The Storz Bros Trials Demo Team In Action

Yesterday me'n Mrs. G went up to Portola to visit with our friend Steve Storz and watch his sons demonstrate trials riding at the annual Portola Railroad Days shindig.

The 50-mile drive up there was pretty uneventful except for about one second of stark terror. A doe ran across the road in front of us. If she'da waited another quarter of a second, we'da had venison for lunch, car service. It was all over before my reaction time let me do more than lift my foot off the gas pedal. It was close enough that I looked for hoofprints on my pickup later. Whew!

We caught up with Steve and the boys at the local skate park (video with me 'n Steve discussing the day) near last year's venue in between shows. The demo area had been moved to a vacant lot right downtown so we moved our rig over there and watched the show and visited. "Downtown" is sort of a relative term. Portola ain't New York City. The main street is off the highway, so it wasn't much of a problem for them to close off the street for the Railroad Days event. If you were driving down Hwy 70 you'd have to get really creatively lost to find it!

Here's Eric Storz doing a show. You can see Mrs. G wearing a red T-shirt. I was wearing a Storz Performance T-shirt and had been seen canoodling with Steve, so for all intents and purposes, I was sort of a quasi-official member of the team. One of the Railroad Days staffers saw her standing where she was, sort of off limits to the general public (or the sane!), and asked me if she was with me. I said yes, and that she had been run over by motorcycles lotsa times (true) and not to worry. Heh.



Things don't always go as planned. In this one, Demo Team member Ian Delaney does something that probably wasn't in the script:



Of all the things motorcycle riders want to be famous for, that wasn't it, but folks all over the world will see that one! Heh.

He wasn't hurt, still being of the age where he's made out of rubber, and it probly worked out pretty good, all things considered. The Demo Team is sponsored by Ryan Young Products, which is the importer of the Shercos the Storz boys ride, and Ian rides a Montesa. I can see Ian's picture with his sled on top of him in the ad now - "Don't let this happen to you! Ride a Sherco!"

The show was very popular and the lads spent some time autographing posters for the spectators afterwards. We stuck around long enough to watch 'em load enough gear in Steve's F-150 to make a gypsy proud, and they lit for home and so did we.

There's some more videos of the Demo Team at my YouTube Channel. The Portola setup wasn't as video- or spectator-friendly as it could have been (Steve said that setting it up was like watching three women rearranging furniture), but nobody seemed to mind. Here's a much better video than mine that Steve took at a Demo show at Moto Expo in Del Mar last year:



Me'n Mrs. G had a great time. Steve's kids and their friend Ian are fine young men and solid trials competitors with great futures in the sport. We feel fortunate that they come this close to us once in a while so it's easy for us to go visit. The video camera is icing on the cake.

Oh, yeah, we stopped at Los Dos Hermanos on the way home for enchiladas rancheras and chicken fajitas. The perfect end to a perfect day.

230 mpg?

Real good, but who's gonna buy the fucking thing?

General Motors announced on Tuesday morning that its Chevrolet Volt extended-range electric car had delivered a fuel-economy rating of 230 miles a gallon — which sounds outrageous. With that kind of gas mileage, you could practically drive from Los Angeles to Las Vegas on a single gallon of gas, or for around three bucks.

...

Of course the range on pure electric power is about 40 miles, and then the gas engine kicks in to keep the battery up. That's fine, it's still pretty economical and most people drive less than 50 miles in a day, so driving it should still be inexpensive.

I'd like to know who can afford to buy one with a price tag of $40K?

Ein Volks auto ist 'es nicht.

Honda, Toyota, Ford, and Chevy make hybrids (I'd stick to the Japanese brands if you're in the market) a lot cheaper which are also economical to buy, drive, and repair (something unknown about the Volt). The Chevy Volt is nothing more than a cachet vehicle; something with which the well-to-do can show off their 'greenness'. Hopefully, GM will use the technology to make small sedans in the $12 - $15K range that will be more accessible to the masses. Thing is, as GM has done for the last 30 years, it looks like they've already missed the boat:

...

Team Nissan is referring, of course, to the electric vehicle in the photograph above (and the video below). The LEAF, which will go into production next year – with a tentative release date of 2012 – is expected to be much cheaper than the Volt. How much cheaper? Nissan isn’t saying. Wired, for one, thinks the cute-as-a-button car could come in at $25,000 – some $15K cheaper than the Volt.

...

Toyota has had electric vehicles for the better part of the decade and Honda is also producing their own version. It's probably a safe bet the Japanese will do them better.

And if you do want to spend a lot for an electric, Herr Daimler has a car for you:

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - Daimler plans to roll out a Mercedes-Benz model that runs on electricity in 2010, its chief executive said in a newspaper interview.

"We plan an electric Smart for 2010 and for the same year a Mercedes (electric) model as well," Dieter Zetsche told Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung in comments to be published in the Saturday edition.

Daimler currently has in London a fleet of 100 first-generation Smart cars that run on electricity.

...

I'm sorry to say, as reports have claimed, that if GM has staked its survival to the Volt, there won't be many sunny days ahead.

Cross-posted at the Brain.

Paging Mad Max....

Mad Max to the nearest white courtesy phone, your truck is here.







I wouldn't want to see this thing in MY rearview mirror!

Pics courtesy of English Russia, they have some very cool stuff there.

On the radio ...

My good buddy Indian sent me this. This guy built a radio controlled Ford 23T in 1/3 scale:



And because my mind works in strange ways, a little companion music:

Donna Summer - On The Radio

Old Guys Rule!

Very short video showing an old fart (same age as me) puttin' the stretch on the other riders big time.

These engines would probably seize just about instantly if ya fired 'em up below 9000'!

#12, Eddie Mulder on his 1969 Triumph Bonneville, following with a ten second gap #80, Keith Speir on his 1969 Triumph "Eddie Mulder Special" and two other riders (sorry - I didn't see who) closely packed, riding in the Vintage motorcycle division, Pikes Peak International Hill Climb (PPIHC) 2009.

Thanks to Philol0gy. More PPIHC vids there.

From The Duh Files

Duh.

I woulda never guessed.

Latest Indian

Companies that make Indian motorcycles come and go. Go read about the latest iteration of this old brand, and watch a pretty good video.

The video is worth watching just to hear Susan Carpenter call herself "a little bit of a whore...". Heh.

Shorter: OK bike if you like that sort of thing. Too much money.

Be careful when you buy the boss a present

I won't vouch for the translation, but I thought this was funnier'n shit.



The Ewan and Charlie reference explained a little here and here.

Thanks to loveyourGS.

Stuff ...

Limey Steel ...

Yes, we have a customer with a '54 MG. Good God is it rough, and a royal pain in the ass to work on (think 65 years of rust), but cool to toodle around town in.





And one of my favorite rides, a late model Jaguar S-Type 'R'. Fast as hell and handles like a dream while you feel like you're sitting on a plush leather couch.

Yes, that says "supercharged"

By the way, the huge aluminum brake calipers are so light, they weigh less than the two brake pads inside 'em.

Got change for a Quattroporte ...


This is one beautiful piece of Guinea Iron (2007 Maserati Quattroporte) with a story behind it that has a moral.

Seems the customer bought this car a couple months ago off the Internet for a high-5-figure price tag, sight unseen (pics only). Imagine his surprise when, last week, the dashboard advises him of a transmission failure (Tiptronic) with only 15K on the clock. No problem, you say, take it to the dealer and heave 'em fix it under warranty. Well, seems Maserati and Ferrari are pretty particular about transferring warranties. They don't like people selling their late model cars as 'used cars'. Guess what? They informed him the warranty is void. Heh ... Now he gets to pay me to fix it. By the way, the dual disc clutch pack alone is $2500.

Moral: Never buy an exotic car (or hotrod) off the intarwebs unless you or someone you trust can physically go and see it and drive it.







Another story related to this car. The Ferrari/Maserati dealer we used to use for parts (Ferarri of Glen Cove) went out of business. So now, instead of driving a mile and a half, we have to go to Ferrari of Long Island which, fortunately, I pass on my way home.

So, the other day on the way home, I stop in to get all our account and resale paperwork set up with their parts department and pick up the parts I need for the Quattroporte. Now, I've never been in there but I've seen the building a million times so I pull in a space and head for the front door. As I'm walking up, I look through the glass and I see this huge marble atrium and the only thing in it is this huge marble desk with a hot woman sitting at it and a security guard standing next to her.

By the time I got the front door open, the security guard was on me. "What do you want?" He says. Mind you, I'm coming from work so I'm dirty, wearing a ball cap, uniform shirt - open with a dark blue 'wife beater' underneath - BDU pants, and combat boots.

I ignore him and walk up to the babe behind the desk. "I'm looking for the parts department," I tell her.

"Well, that wouldn't be in this building," she says, and I can see her turning up her nose at whatever it was I was spooged with last before I left the shop. "That's three buildings up the block. This is the showroom."

"Excuse me," I said, tipping my sweaty hat to her. "Thank you." I gave the guard an evil look before heading out, thinking if I went home, showered and got into one of my three-piece British suits and went back, she and the guard would have thrown their backs out trying to bend down to kiss my ass. Fuck 'em both; ain't buying no Ferrari.


The Prince of Darkness lives ...


So I get this 10 year old Jaguar in with a steady miss in #1, plus random misfires throughout. I ohm out the #1 coil and I find the resistance is a little high after determining I had a signal from the processor.



I check the computer and see the car has about 60K on the plugs, so I yank the coil to check their condition. I pull the coil out and what do I see? Jaguar ain't learned shit over the past 50 years.



After seeing that little sticker, I ordered 6 new coils. Heh ...

"Safety meeting" at Nunzio's?

Click to embiggen

Photo: LATimes

Splinter City

This is a Czech film of an American race in 1920. An amazing period piece. I sure wish they'd had sound back then!

You know how much a splinter hurts, right? Picture an assload of 'em!

Also note that the machines don't run rear fenders. Best to not slip off the seat or you're in for a polish job that will rock your world!

This will become clear toward the end of the film: 212=132. Holy shit.

Indian Board Track Racing at Daytona

Thanks to FloridaSportbikes.

For Our Pal Gordon

Actually, I'm impressed, they spelled it right.

H/T^ Failblog.

Speaking of aluminum ...

In comments on my last post, we discussed the amount of aluminum you find in today's cars. I had this big, fat, late model Chevy pickup (2500 series) in the shop today and what do I find on it? Aluminum brake rotors. Granted, they're aftermarket and this guy threw a buncha money in the trash buying 'em, but you see these a lot on hybrids and the micro-minis the car makers are pumping out these days to save weight and increase fuel mileage.





The reason I had this load in the shop today is for a vibration that came on at 40 mph and continued up to highway speed (kept up no matter how fast I got it on the highway). Now what possessed this guy to put these huge tires on it when it hardly sees any dirt is beyond me but the things have the most aggressive tread to still qualify as a street tire (noisy as a fuck). The whole wheel/tire assembly weighed about 60 lbs which is why I said he wasted the money on the drilled aluminum brake rotors.

The idea behind the aluminum is to reduce "unsprung weight". That's the weight of the parts of the vehicle not controlled by the suspension - "anything below the springs" in our parlance (wheels, tires, brakes, axles and differential housings sometimes, control arms sometimes). The idea is the less weight below the springs, the better handling the vehicle is and is less susceptible to "bump-steer" - the wheels reacting to bumps and divots in the road. It's why they put steering dampers on off-road vehicles - to absorb the shock to the steering gear and undesirable inputs coming back through the steering wheel. The weight savings over iron rotors compared to the aluminum ones is negated by the heavy wheels and tires.

The reason you see a lug nut with washers under it is because I was running the beast up in 4WD on the lift without the heavy ass wheels and tires on it (trying to rule them out as the cause of the vibration) and I had to keep the rotors from flopping around and destroying the pads, calipers, and mounts.

After running it up while having Nunzio watch the driveshafts and anything else that rotated while driving, we looked at the front axles (it's got an independent front end) and found the inboard constant velocity joint in the left front was binding. The hubs stay permanently locked (the shifting to 4WD is done through a solenoid on the New Process Gear transfer case) so you get it in 2WD as well. I slapped a new axle in it as soon as I could get one sent up and the vibration went away. Thankfully, I only had to take the wheels and tires off twice. I hate working on trucks.

Heeeeeere's Billy!

Fixer's bud talks bikes.

Thanks to plumtv.

"I have a rattle in my front end."

When a customer tells me that, I usually reply, "It's the marble rolling around in yer head."

Took me a while to find this one (Dodge Ram 1500 4x4 Pickup), but when I pulled the front differential cover, all this shit fell out along with the 90-weight:





Got a new (rebuilt) 3rd member coming from Jasper in a couple days.

Note: Click pics to embiggen. The darker metal pieces are parts of ring and pinion gears. Hardened steel as opposed to the cast iron aluminum (figured that out when I could actually see it) of the housing and bearing caps.

Update:

I got the diff out of the truck first thing this morning:



As you see, the right side bearing cap is gone (yes, I know it's on the left in the pic, but in the car it's on the passenger side; that's the right side no matter how you look at a car), only the bolts and bosses are left. That's what most of the shiny shit sitting on my bench was.



The ring gear (the darker shit in the pile on my bench) got the worst of it.





The new unit should've got there late this afternoon and I'll install it first thing tomorrow.