New BMW ad? Maybe not...

I got this from my pal Gary, who's the dealer liaison for the Triumph motorcycle distributor in Australia.

Clicken zie to embiggenische

And So It Ends

Ford has decided to shut down the Mercury line after 71 years.

I worked at a Lincoln/ Mercury dealearship for ten years. A fancy Ford was a Mercury, they came with A/C and some different tail lights, chrome, and some other ammenities to make them stand out.
The end of an era and here is as good as any requiem.

Back in the day, Mercury was a powerhouse apart from the mundane, much like Pontiac was to Chevy.

RIP.

Putting in my papers ...

Finally.

I'd had it with the car business years ago. Just burnt out and tired of all the crap so this past week I gave Nunzio notice that I'd be packing it in at the end of October. I was finished 2 years ago, when I left Harry's, and had it not been for Nunzio's guy leaving him suddenly, I wouldn't be doing it this long. It's enough.

Once upon a time, I used to love cars; working on them, talking about them, driving them but I've been doing this for close to 40 years (overhauled my first motor, a Buick Straight-8, when I was 10 years old) and been getting paid for it for the better part of 35. I can't stand 'em anymore. I have to talk myself into going to work every morning and it gets worse every day. It's one of the reasons I've basically ignored this blog for a while. Just can't bring myself to deal with it when I'm home.

Now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not an oncoming train, I've got a few things to say about the business.

Car Makers:

I hope all of you fall on financial hard times. You deserve it. Not the good folks who break their ass for you on the lines and in the dealerships, but those of you white collar assholes, from the corporate/management types to the engineers. Are any of you car guys anymore? Have any of you worked on the crap you foist on the American people? Do any of you think about what it takes to service the pieces of shit you design and how much extra it costs your, and my, customers because designing something that's easy to maintain is the last thing on your minds? I bet customers $5 that they can't find the oil filter on their cars. Shit, on some cars, I gotta look at the manual so I know where it's hidden. What the fuck? I gotta put my hands on it every 3 months or 3000 miles, why the fuck you gotta hide the bastard, you bloody simpletons?

You've turned cars into plastic shitboxes (even the most expensive). Try disconnecting a plastic vacuum line (or fuel line) when it's cold, or the little fucking plastic clips that hold door panels or interior parts on, or electrical connectors; old and dry. It's ass-puckering trying to take anything apart, waiting to hear that little "flink" and see a piece of plastic shit go flying away, needed to lock a connector or panel in place and now broken.

Cars have gone from being "driving machines" to people's living rooms. There are more lights, TV screens, automatic this and that, but actually driving the car is more of an afterthought. Half the crap today has more blind spots than a semi truck, yet shit beeps and lights go on when you get close enough to something else. Your car tells you everything, when to get the oil changed, when the tires are low, when your window washer fluid is low (my new car will even email me when it's pissed off about something), and most folks disregard the shit anyway. Either that or it scares them to death. Jesus Christ, owners manuals are now several volumes and look like the manual for the Space Shuttle.

And aside from all that; since 1973 (the first gas crisis), we've known the internal combustion engine was a dinosaur. Its essential parts haven't changed much in a century; Henry Ford would recognize an engine for what it was, and while we've refined them, they're basically hundred year old technology. Oh yeah, there are more bells and whistles; engines are tunable to forty times a second to produce fuel economy, low emissions, and horsepower per cubic inch that we couldn't have dreamed when I got into this business. Thing is, a hundred years later, we're still burning gasoline or diesel. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Parts Places:

You're almost as useless as tits on a bull. Auto parts isn't a profession anymore, it's a minimum wage job and those (generally) who work behind the counter don't know shit about a car, let alone what they're selling. Used to be, a parts man knew about how shit worked together and could make recommendations as to brand and quality. Nowadays, even at NAPA dealers, you get whatever shit they get a deal on from the manufacturer or rebuilder. I've replaced 3 alternators over the course of 6 months in the same car because of crap rebuilds. Yeah, they replace them under warranty but they don't pay me for doing the job twice, or thrice, and the customers sure as hell don't give a shit I can't get a reliable part, they look at me like I'm some kind of fuckup. I'm the guy they see and it's my responsibility, ain't it? They ain't coming to you bitching when they have to pay for a tow because the rebuilt alternator (or brake caliper, or starter) decides to take a shit a month after I install it. Whores.

Car Dealership Service Departments:

You, single-handedly, have done more to destroy the reputation of mechanics than any other cause. It's called "upsell" and you all do it so well. It's a dictum that no one leaves a dealership service department without buying something. Take your car in for warranty or recall work and see what happens. You get a laundry list of things wrong with your car, from the brakes to some kind of service, to a cooling system flush, to a tire rotation, that "you really should have done now before something bad happens". And they get you for a thousand bucks. And people wonder why everybody thinks most mechanics are crooks. Rotten fucking scumbags.

Car Makers, Fastener Makers, and Tool Companies:

All of you are in it together. What the fuck happened to hex-head nuts and bolts? What ever happened to Phillips or Slotted head screws? Fuck no. The fastener guys dream up some new way to tighten a bolt and sell it to the car makers. Once they incorporate it into their line, the tool guys have to make a new wrench, or socket, or special fitting, to remove the fucking thing properly (without breaking or stripping). Mechanics spend hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year just keeping up at Snap-On, Mac, Matco, S-K, Gearwrench, Craftsman, or any of the others. The boss sure ain't buying me what I need. You should see how many sockets, wrenches, cups, and pliers I have just to take off the million different oil filters that come on cars nowadays.

K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Jiffy Lube, Sears and the others:

You have done more than anyone to take the profession of mechanic and put it in the same league as burger flipper. You pay your 'mechanics' nothing, you work them to death, and most of them don't know any more than to change oil, mount tires, and change batteries. You shouldn't be allowed to have auto repair facilities.

Most of my customers:

Most of you are self-centered pieces of shit.

Let's see:

You make an appointment for tomorrow, don't show up, don't call to cancel, and then leave your car (before we get in, drop the keys through the mail slot) three weeks later unannounced, and expect us to drop what we're doing and get the job done "because you need it by noon".

You call for an NY State inspection and we ask if the "check engine light" is on and you say no. You drop it off and it's burning brightly. The inspection expires tomorrow, but you need the sticker because you are leaving on vacation tonight, driving to Florida.

Your biggest concern is the red paint on your beautiful white car (came a little close to something, didja?) yet heaven forbid you'd come in and get your oil changed a little more regularly than 15K intervals. Yeah, the car looks nice but the motor will be junk long before the paint fades.

You bring your car in for a service, brake job, and exhaust work and you "can let me have it for an hour".

You let me know you're looking for a used car. I tell you to let me look at it first before you buy it. You go buy it, disregarding my admonition, and then cry when you bring it in when I tell you it needs a lot of work for it to pass inspection. Told ya to bring it to me first, idiot.

You're a rich fuck and you cry about every dime you gotta spend on your "baby" that cost as much as somebody else's house.

You think you know about cars so you sit there and tell me what I should do, how I should do it, and what parts to use. Do it yourself, dickhead.

I could go on but you get the point. Just can't do it anymore, both mentally and physically. I got a bum shoulder, hip, and knees, in addition to arthritis in most of my fingers. Can't do another winter. It isn't fun anymore, no challenge and too much headache. I'm tired of coming home cold and tired, or hot and tired, or wet and tired, or all of the above. I'm tired of cuts, bruises, busted knuckles and fingers. I'm tired of being spooged with chemicals, boiling oil, and coolant.

I'm done and I'm looking forward to doing something, anything, else.

Space Age Stone Axe

Great vid from our pal peckhammer. He has lots more motorcycle vids there and at blip.tv as well.

The 2010 Royal Enfield Classic C5 Bullet is a retro bike more accurately described as "vintage evolution." If you had purchased a Bullet ten years ago, you would have found it to be a nearly exact copy of a 1956 bullet; same soft aluminum cases and timing covers, same points-style ignition, same motor, and same manufacturing methods from five decades ago. That's changed over the last few years, after tough emissions standards prompted Royal Enfield to design a completely new unit construction engine, complete with electronic fuel injection and a catalytic converter.

It also has hydraulic lifters and a front disc brake and still manages to look even older than my '01!

Get Out Your Wallet Gord

Here is a wet dream come true dude.

11 New 1975 Norton Commandos Found in Belgium!





Jesus, I am getting a woody just typing about these things.. What a score!

You know damn well these little jewels are long gone for serious cash money.

Bermuda Cub

Fixer, slip a few of these back from Bermuda in your luggage. If they're all in as good shape out there as this 45 year old example, I'll take one, shiny aftermarket rims, incorrect front fender and all!

Thanks to Bermuda1105, Bermuda.

AMA Hall of Fame Videos

The AMA Motorcycle Hall Of Fame is loaded with motorcycle history and a good place to look up stuff or while away some time and learn something.

Well, I just discovered the AMA Motorcycle Hall Of Fame Museum's YouTube channel. These are short (about 1:30) biographies of riders from way back when up 'til recently, narrated by Dave Despain. I saw vids on people I actually knew!

This gent was the Greeves and Hodaka dealer in North Hollywood. I had a Greeves in the '60s and got my parts from him and Mrs. G bought a Hodaka Wombat from him.



Go over there and scroll through their lineup. You'll probably find something to watch.

Winternationals turns 50

Good article in the LATimes:

Gasoline cost about 30 cents a gallon, John F. Kennedy was the new president and "Wagon Train" was the most popular show on television.

And in Southern California, a man named Wally Parks settled on a parcel of land next to the fairgrounds in Pomona in 1961 to establish the second major drag-racing event for his relatively new National Hot Rod Assn.

The event was called the Winternationals, and five decades later it remains among professional drag racing's signature contests, even as the sport has expanded nationwide and speeds of its top-flight cars have soared to more than 300 mph.

Here's something I didn't know:

But last year, the NHRA shortened its top-fuel and funny car races to 1,000 feet to slow down the cars, whose speeds had climbed to 330 mph.

Shit, real drag racing only needs the width of an intersection. I had a '68 Chevy pickup (Custom Cab, Chevy Truck 50th Anniversary Gold, $2750 brand new), 307 small block with 3-onna-tree that was geared so low it would only go about 90 flat-out, but it would beat anything away from a stoplight.

Back in those days, I got my flathead 6 '48 Plymouth M Stock tuned-up from "Too Slow To Time" (It actually said that on the timing slip they handed me) to 58MPH/21:47 by taking off the air cleaner and emptying the trunk. I mighta been slow, but I participated, if minimally, in the SoCal drag scene.

I actually blew off three M Stockers in a row at San Fernando Drag Strip - a '52 Merc, a Corvair, and a '53 Pontiac. The high point of my drag racing career came when I rolled up to the line again and the announcer said over the loudspeaker, "Here comes that nasty blue Plymouth again!". Of course, this time I ran against the M Stock World Champion Hudson that would do about 80 in the quarter. I think that guy was putting greasy palm prints on the trophy girl about the time I shifted into second. Heh. It was fun.

Oh God, the memories are flooding back...

I trophied that old Plymouth once at the 1/8th mile strip in Holly Ridge, North Carolina. They couldn't run anything faster than B Gas there because it would get stuck in the mud on the return road. They timed the runs with a stopwatch, I think. Real grass roots, down home place it was. The guy asked me what class I wanted to run, and I asked him what class had no one else in it. Took a downgrade to N Stock, but I made it to the other end of the strip and got the trophy. Big-time cherry-picker from California. Heh.

I actually had a header plug (exhaust cut-out) on that thing. Cost $2 at a muffler shop. Installed! I used to put washers in between the plug and the cap. It was more or less an exhaust leak, but it sounded great! Ah, the ignorance of youth. I pine for its loss sometimes, but at 64 I think I'm still a pretty good teenage bozo.

Enjoy that article. I sure did.

What The Hell Was Fixer Doing In Florida?

Just kidding, Fixer would have brought it back in one piece.




Mechanic traveling 163 mph in Porsche crashes in south Fort Myers

Routine maintenance on a 2008 Porsche Boxster took an unusual turn Thursday, when a Sanibel mechanic took the car on a wild test drive, reaching an estimated 163 mph, and crashed it.

Kenneth Kasten, 50, owner of the Sanibel Shell service station, was driving the Porsche on McGregor Boulevard near Punta Rassa Road at 6 a.m. when he lost control and flipped the car into some mangroves, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

The Porsche - owned by Nanelle Wehmann of Sanibel - was the only vehicle involved in the crash, which occurred in a 55-mph limit zone.

The FHP estimated the damage to the Porsche at $50,000.

Kasten wasn't seriously injured and left the scene before emergency crews arrived, Cpl. George Kantor of the FHP said. Alcohol is not believed to have been a factor in the crash.

Authorities arrived on scene to find the car smashed, abandoned and upside down.

Initial reports were that the car was stolen, but Kantor said it quickly became clear that Kasten had permission to drive the car.

Wehmann said she has been bringing her vehicles to the Sanibel Shell for years and was surprised to learn about the crash.

"I'm just thankful he wasn't hurt," she said.

Kantor said because Wehmann knew Kasten would drive the car, Kasten wasn't charged with theft.

Kasten was found a few hours after the crash hiding in a nearby parking lot and was given a notice to appear in court on charges of willful and wanton reckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash.

I once took a Lincoln Mark 8 on an extended test drive and hit 135 before I backed out of it, that was way fast enough for me.It was raining a little and the front end was starting to float.
The guy kept bringing it in bitching about a howling noise around the top of the windshield at high speed and no one could duplicate it because when he said high speed, they figured seventy miles an hour.
I finally talked to him and he said no, it started in around ninety.

I glued the shit out of the seal at the top of the windshield and never saw him again.

Cruise night returns to Van Nuys Boulevard

I remember Cruise Nights on Van Nuys Boulevard. They were fun to go watch. I never got in any trouble or saw much of the stuff that made the cops shut it down. I'm glad it's back, even as a shadow of its former self. That's probably a good thing.

By the way, the photo in the article shows a '62 Chrysler Newport, which none of us would've had up our ass in those days if we'da had room for a boxcar, but I guess anything old is cool now. Hmmmm. Some of us 'old stuff' have been so cool for so long that it's just a given and nobody even notices anymore...

LATimes

As the souped-up muscle cars, restored classics and lowriders cruise through the old Rydell Chevrolet lot on Van Nuys Boulevard, Reid Stolz takes stock of a scene that was familiar to anyone growing up in the San Fernando Valley a generation ago.

Here's the crux of the biscuit right off the bat:

"Remember when we were young and the cops were old?" said Stolz, 51, watching an LAPD patrol car glide by. "Now the cops are young and we're old."

After a 28-year break, Stolz and other car lovers have brought cruising back to "The Boulevard," though the drivers are now more likely to be middle-aged guys with graying hair and grandkids, driven by nostalgia rather than teenage vanity.

Yeah, how much trouble are a buncha old farts gonna cause anyway? Wait'll me an' Fixer an' Nucks show up...

It was more than just a scene, it was an iconic ritual that was imitated, written about in hot rod magazines and captured on film. Cruise night came to represent a Southern California lifestyle that young people in the Midwest and the world over could only read about. Cruising the boulevard on a Wednesday night was about adolescent freedom, a sense that anything was possible and, above all, fun.

Back then, young people just showed up every Wednesday night. Girls and boys by the hundreds milled on sidewalks as candy-colored cars blowing rubber smoke streaked by blasting Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd from eight-track stereos.

Led Zeppelin? Pink Floyd? 8-track? Holy crap! I went to those Cruise Nights waaaaay before that! Beach Boys and Bobby Rydell days! On AM radio.

I must be older than I thought. Sigh.

The tradition dates to the late 1950s when high schools in the San Fernando Valley held club meetings each Wednesday, said Jon Billesbach, 67, of North Hollywood.

Youths in car clubs would head to the boulevard after the meetings ended for street racing, he said. Later, everyone gathered at the Bob's Big Boy restaurants in Toluca Lake or Van Nuys.

Cruising reached its zenith in the 1970s, and the boulevard was its own teenager universe.

There were a lot of people older than teenagers, trust me.

Streets lamps bathed the bikers at Arby's in an arc of white light. The van guys parked outside the Heads 'N Highs head shop and the street racers converged at Bank of America. Latino youths parked their lowrider at the June Ellen Doughnut shop, just south of the 101 Freeway, Stolz said.

Here we go again - there weren't even any head shops when I went. There aren't any now either, although there may be again. Full circle and then some, I guess.

Pretty good article. Go read.

Memories

Here of late I've been digitizing my old photos. Here's some taken by Mrs. G at Adelanto Raceway in the late '70s.

Even with monkey Pat as far out as he can get, Larry's got the hack wheel in the air:

Click photos to embiggen

Lonnie off the line! Note his clutch and throttle control.He's not kickin' up much dirt with his rear wheel, and there's daylight under his front wheel. That's called 'hooked up'. He probably won:



Chuck 'Feets' Minert, for many years one of SoCal's best scrambles riders and factory BSA motocross rider on his ancient but fast BSA Catalina Scrambler:



My pal Sluggo (couldn't find a link to Wanted Posters). He once borrowed my 500 Triumph single, went out and trophied on it, and said it was the easiest bike to ride he'd ever rode. Grrrr...:



Pretty cool pics, huh?

Of course, when moi flies by, I'm so fast that everything but my plumber's crack outran her. Thanks a pile for making part of me famous, honey. I have no idea why I had a pencil in my pocket.



More like this later. You may run screaming into the woods at the thought now.

Since ...

Honda pays a lot of bills in the Fixer house, I figured I'd show their new commercial. If you're a Rube Goldberg fan like me, you'll love it, commercialism aside.

Vid stolen from Atrios.

Very Scary

Either this guy has balls of Tungsten or he is insane.
Check out this photographer snapping pictures as an out of control dragster slams the barrier at full throttle inches away from him.



Notice the concrete being shaved off the barrier and the wheel spinning.



More pictures and the full story here.

Then And Now

1955



2010 Mercedes SLS AMG Gullwing







That thing looks Bad Assed.

Check This Out

I cracked up just reading the name of this place.

That Will Buff Out.

It's a virtual "Glad that wasn't me" experience.
Although, I do resemble a few of those experiences, thankfully not this one,





H/T to our other Blog Buddy, Just An Earth Bound Misfit, I.

Before you die ...

In a runaway Toyota, SHUT. THE. FUCKING. CAR. OFF!

...

The 2009 Lexus ES 350 shot through suburban San Diego like a runaway missile, weaving at 120 miles an hour through rush hour freeway traffic as flames flashed from under the car.

At the wheel, veteran California Highway Patrol Officer Mark Saylor desperately tried to control the 272-horsepower engine that was roaring at full throttle as his wife, teenage daughter and brother-in-law were gripped by fear.

...

That's all. Turn the fucking key and the engine stops, and you coast to the side safely. WTF? Is this so hard?

Cross-posted at the Brain.

What is it with Krauts and sidecars in the desert?

This is what happens when ya listen to Grampa's tales of his motorcycling adventures in North Africa in '42...

Thanks to Winterbiker, Germany.

Oil Bath

Every old Britbike came standard with one or at least had one sometime during its life, but I never knew there was a patent on it! Norton must have made a lot of money on this over the years from licensing fees and royalties...

Norton's 1949 500 ohv single.

Thanks to 828cc, UK. Lotsa short clips of cool old rides.

Tokyo Motor Show

Crick to embiggen

Visitors surround Yamaha's new concept bike, the "Super Tenere", which features a traction control system, anti-lock brakes and other advanced technologies, at the Tokyo Motor Show in Chiba on October 21, 2009. Futuristic concept cars, plug-in hybrids, zero-emission electric vehicles and even a hydrogen-powered scooter jostled for the limelight as the Tokyo Motor Show kicked off on October 21.

Cars, bikes, oddball concepts, and pretty girls. Photos and not much of an article.

Go for a ride with me

Still testing the camera mount. Vibration level seems OK at cruising speed, still need to rubber mount it before old-fashioned long-stroke single vibrates modern electronics to bits. Heh. Moved it closer to center of bike, now it picks up too much wind noise, not enough exhaust note. I'll keep after this 'til I get it. It's fun.

This ride is out of my neighborhood and north on California SR 89 to the Hobart Mills turnoff. Note all the dirt haulers. That's a major industry around here.

Please enjoy a ride in the Sierra Nevada sun.

I never noticed the vibration before I saw it on the video. Now I do.

Note: No speed limits were seriously damaged during the filming of this video.

Thanks to me.