22 June 2006


Why do people have to watch me work? I mean, what is so fascinating or entertaining about what mechanics do? Do I come to your office and sit next to you, watching you do whatever it is you do? Giving you advice? Would you like me to stand over your shoulder as you're doing your job, asking stupid questions and making stupid commments? How long would it be before you told me to get lost? Okay, so don't get mad when I tell you to get out.

See, I don't care how many hot rod magazines you read, how many auto repair idiots you watch on TV or listen to on the radio, until you have 35 years of experience doing my job, making your living doing it, shut up, leave the keys, and get out. I've forgotten more than you'll ever learn about cars, and while your suggestions may be well intentioned, I don't need you buzzing in my ear about 'what it might be' because you heard Frick and Frack on the radio talking about it this morning. All you do is end up sounding like an idiot. In addition, I don't have the time to explain to you why you're wrong.

I am also not entertainment. How many times have people said, 'you guys are fun' after I just told PDB to suck my ass, shut the fuck up, and get back to work. This isn't for your benefit. It isn't Cique du Soliel of the car world. You want to see grouchy men yell at each other? Watch American Chopper. Those guys don't have a line of customers showing up at 5 this afternoon, expecting their cars to be fixed and running. You want me to entertain you? I'll start charging admission. Go buy yourself a puzzle or something if you're so bored that I'm actually entertaining.

Note: This does not apply to women. The fairer sex is always welcome to grace our little establishment and ask as many questions as they want. We'll spend as much time with you as you need to understand the problem with your car and what it takes to fix it. And I sure as Hell am not going on a road call with 2 feet of snow on the ground to help a guy; you're paying for a wrecker, pal. Yes, it's sexist (or reverse sexism), and old fashioned, but it's our shop. Tough shit.

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