29 September 2007

Wally Parks 1913-2007

LATimes

Wally Parks, the hot-rodder and entrepreneur who curbed drag racing on city streets by steering drivers onto legal racing strips and founded the National Hot Rod Assn., has died. He was 94.

"Today is a sad day in the world of NHRA and the sport of drag racing," NHRA President Tom Compton said in a statement. "Words simply can't describe the immeasurable impact Wally has had on the sport he created and the millions of people's lives he touched along the way."

If you've ever been to a drag strip, Mr. Parks is the one who legitimized drag racing as a sport instead of an unlawful activity. A true pioneer of motor sports.

26 September 2007

25 September 2007

Multi Functional Dinnerware



Finally, for the do it yourselfer who also has a culinary interest!

Some folks just have too much time on their hands....

16 September 2007

My friend Manuel ...

Owner's Manual to be exact. You don't know how many times I look for an owner's manual in a customer's car and don't find one.



When I ask them where it is, I get a blank stare. Far be it they read the fucking thing when they buy a car. Maybe if they did, they wouldn't bother me for stupid shit all the time, like what the 'check engine' light means or the host of other multi-colored shit that goes on in the instrument panel.

You'd also know where your spare tire is and how to operate the jack. You'd also know how to open your hood, program your sound system, GPS, OnStar, compass, and a whole buncha other assorted shit you need to know about your car. Or you can pay me to hold your hand and walk you through it.

I could use the owner's manual in the car so I can decipher your fuse box (usually they're numbered and then I have to go and hunt for a cheat sheet to figure out which fuse controls what), figure out the grade and type of motor oil, transmission fluid, antifreeze, and a whole host of other fluids your manufacturer recommends. It's also easier for me to find the procedure to reset your 'oil change light' without having to search through my huge Service Bay Manual.

It also helps the tow truck driver if you're broke on the side of the road. Some cars have to be towed a specific way or it will do damage to the drivetrain, electronics, whatever.

Want to tow a trailer? Your manual tells you that too. It tells you how to load your car safely (think that doesn't matter? Put a few hundred pounds in the trunk and try and control the car at any type of speed). It also tells you about the tires (size, speed rating, and tread wear rating) and how much, or little, they can be inflated for safe operation.

Your owner's manual is the most important tool a driver can have in the car with them. Read it (sit in the fucking car when you do and familiarize yourself with what they're talking about) and then leave it in the car. No, the two minutes your salesman spent going over shit with you doesn't count. If you don't have one, go to the dealer and order one. It's a small price to pay for a boatload of useful information.

13 September 2007

Confessions Of A Tool Whore

OK, I admit it.
I am a tool junkie.
I buy tools that I don't even need, somehow rationalizing it to myself.
I have so many fucking tools, I have three roll aways to hold all of them and still have shit laying around.
Thousands and thousands of dollars worth.
The Snap On guy loves me.
I get mailers from Harbor Freight and my fucking eyes glaze over.
I can't even go into a Sears store anymore.
People wonder why I have always driven piece of shit cars, priced a screwdriver from Snap On lately?
Thats why.
The price of good tools has skyrocketed in the past ten years.
The stupid bastards where I work wonder why I get so wound up when they want to borrow something.
Fuck that, go buy your own shit, asshole.

An old, old mechanic joke;
Why do you never use your screw driver for a prybar?
Because the next time you want to use it as a chisel, it's bent.

Thank you, try the veal.

05 September 2007

Iron Butt? I Think Mine Would Be More Like Jelly.

Lurch, over at Main and Central is reporting on the most grueling motorsport event in the world, the semi annual Iron Butt race.
11,000 miles in 11 days racing around the perimeter of the United States looking for 5 checkpoints that you have to find in a two hour window, on motorcycles.

No consideration is given for bad weather (during the running of the Iron Butt, riders can expect to ride through rain, sleet, snow, severe thunderstorms, hurricanes and the occasional tornado). Temperature extremes routinely run 125 degrees or more in the desert Southwest in fact, in living up to the name, "World's Toughest Motorcycle Competition", event organizers intentionally route the rally through such places as Death Valley or the Mojave Desert during the hottest part of the day, to extreme cold at the top of mountains like Pike's Peak in Colorado where competitors may have to struggle up a muddy road to reach the peak's 14,110 foot summit.


Go read the rest here

My ass is sore remembering the 100 mile round trip every day between San Jose and Frisco I used to do on a Honda 450, so, no thanks.

PS,
I can't believe Gord didn't post this, I know he saw it before I did!

04 September 2007

Ultracapacitors May Have Batteries Beat

AP

Millions of inventions pass quietly through the U.S. patent office each year. Patent No. 7,033,406 did, too, until energy insiders spotted six words in the filing that sounded like a death knell for the internal combustion engine.

An Austin-based startup called EEStor promised "technologies for replacement of electrochemical batteries," meaning a motorist could plug in a car for five minutes and drive 500 miles roundtrip between Dallas and Houston without gasoline.

The technology also could help invigorate the renewable-energy sector by providing efficient, lightning-fast storage for solar power, or, on a small scale, a flash-charge for cell phones and laptops.

Skeptics, though, fear the claims stretch the bounds of existing technology to the point of alchemy.

So? I took alchemy in school. Blacksmithing too. They both still come in handy.

The result is an ultracapacitor, a battery-like device that stores and releases energy quickly.

Batteries rely on chemical reactions to store energy but can take hours to charge and release energy. The simplest capacitors found in computers and radios hold less energy but can charge or discharge instantly. Ultracapacitors take the best of both, stacking capacitors to increase capacity while maintaining the speed of simple capacitors.

Until EEStor produces a final product, Perry said he joins energy professionals and enthusiasts alike in waiting to see if the company can own up to its six-word promise and banish the battery to recycling bins around the world.

"I am skeptical but I'd be very happy to be proved wrong," Perry said.

The problem with capacitors is size. Capacitors are rated in terms of capacitance in units of farads. Most capacitors are very small and measured in microfarads. When I was learning how to fix radios for Uncle Sam's Misguided Children, my instructors told me that a one-farad capacitor would be about the size of a football field. That's maybe a little dated, along with the vacuum tubes they taught me about, although those are still being used for design and prototype work because they are highly adjustable. But I digress...

There are capacitors in every piece of electronic gear. Period. I think their earliest use in automotive technology was as the condenser in contact-breaker-point ignition systems, where they were used to prevent counterflow voltage from causing arcing at the points and subsequent rapid point wear. CB ignition has gone the way of the buggy whip.

In motorcycles, electrolytic capacitors are sometimes used as battery eliminators, providing a load for the charging system, in effect fooling the charging system into thinking the system has a battery. I explained this to my buddy Sluggo one time in his garage, and his reply was, "Damn, how ya gonna fool it now? You said it right in front of it!", pointing at his motorcycle.

There's no reason you couldn't do this on cars as well, if your car has a kickstarter.

In this age of electronic miracle progress, nothing seems impossible. I hope they can do it.

Crossposted at the world's other Best Blog.

30 August 2007

Gear ...

I been using Mechanix Wear since I worked for Motorsport. In my book, they make the best work gloves in the business. If you're tired of skinned knucks and little shitty cuts and burns that get annoying, you should give 'em a look see.

29 August 2007

F&G, Alternate Brain honored by USPS


Click for even Superer Heroes


Fixer, of course, is top row right. I'm 2d row left. Wordsmith is 2d row, 2d from the right. Jersey Guy and Bustednuckles, and our Illustrious Emeritæ can identify themselves, but in 'Nuck's case, I'm holdin' out for right next to the F-Man. Mechanic, you know.

Cross-posted at the other "Best Blog in the World".

Tongue, meet cheek.

27 August 2007

Old Iron


Because I love old cars trucks and equipment, I am going to run some by once in a while.

This is a 1941 Plymouth pick up.
My buddy has one of these and I just get a huge kick out of it.
I think the top speed on the thing is 35 to 40 mph.
His is green with black fenders. The tail lights even say Plymouth on them.
Another friend found a 1:24 steel model for him that even has the same paint scheme.
It has the old push the switch to start under the gas pedal and everything.
Just a sweet old pick up that he takes to parades and sometimes farts around town in.Nothin' fancy.

17 August 2007

This Is My Kind Of Ride





I have seen this around for a few years now. I have always loved old iron, they just don't build 'em like this anymore, haven't for going on 35 years now. If I was to build a rod, you can bet your ass it would be one of these. I can not stand trailer queens. If you are going to build the damn thing, run it, HARD.
A fancy paint job does not make it run better and out of the forty odd cars I've had, only two or three were good looking, nice cars. All the rest were beaters, barely legal, sometimes not even close. You know the type, you see it coming in the rearview mirror and bail into another lane, hoping nothing came flying off as I wizzed by. Any way, I was surfing the net and found this site, Rat Rods, there are some nice ones and there are some terrible ones. I think I was born 15 years too late.


Rat rod is a newly developed name for the original hot rod style of the early 1950's. A rat rod is usually a vehicle that has had many of its non-critical parts removed. They are usually finished in primer-like paints and are often period correct. They are very often the conglomeration of parts and pieces of different makes and models.

A typical rat rod is an early 1930's coupe or roadster with the body set low on the frame, fenders removed, whitewall tires, big-little tire combos, exposed engine bay, home-made upholstery, and lots of power.

Link to more pics.

16 August 2007

PSA

If you own a Ford product with cruise control, go read this.

Cross-posted at Alternate Brain.

14 August 2007

I Learn A New Word

I stumbled on a new word today technology wise;
Tribology.
I immediately Googled it because I was researching another Alternate Engine piece and it stopped me in my tracks.
Even with a degree in automotive technology it was a new one for me, to wit;

Tribology

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Tribology is the science and technology of friction, lubrication, and wear, derived from the Greek 'Τριβο' ("tribo") meaning 'I rub'. Formally defined, it is the science and technology of interacting surfaces in relative motion and all practices related thereto.

Contents

[hide]

[edit] Applications

The study of tribology is commonly applied in bearing design but extends into other almost any aspect of modern technology, even to such unlikely areas as hair conditioners and cosmetics such as lipstick, powders and lipgloss.

Any product where one material slides or rubs over another is affected by complex tribological interactions, whether lubricated (e.g. hip implants and other artificial prosthesis) or unlubricated (some studies, for example, have looked at high temperature sliding wear in which conventional lubricants can no longer be used and the formation of compacted oxide layer glazes have been observed to protect against wear).

snip

I will leave the literal translation of 'I rub', alone.

Fascinating stuff, this goes all the way into molecular motors and other exotic things like viscosity and God only knows what else.

Not a term I think would be easy to drop into a conversation though.

10 August 2007

Impressions, observations, and wild-ass guesses...


Clicking will make it HUGE!


So how come I didn't notice that my yard needed weeding until I saw it in that picture? Where's that Meskin...but I digress.

That's Mrs. G's new '06 Buell Blast (backstory here and here). By now I've had a chance to think about it, look it over, poke it and and prod it some, and even ride it a little. Here we go...

I think it's a very pretty bike. It's got modern styling, which doesn't always work for me on some bikes, but on this one it does. It's a small bike, but everything's in proportion. A lot of new bikes are pretty angular, but this one's round. In my view, motorcycles should be round in styling, more pleasant to my eye than a buncha harsh angles. Score one for the styling department. I like the color, too.

The heart of any bike is the engine. This one is conventional and unconventioal at the same time. It's coventional in the sense that it's an air-cooled pushrod-operated overhead valve 500cc single-cylinder layout with two valves. It's unconventional in the sense that this is a traditional layout since the dawn of time which fell out of favor over thirty years ago in favor of overhead-camshaft engines, which make more power because they can rev higher and have less moving parts in the valve train to have to throw around.

It also departs from OHV tradition in that the bore/stroke relationship is undersquare, meaning the stroke is shorter than the bore diameter, which lets it rev higher than the old long-stroke singles, which had bags of torque but only produced a power stroke about every other phone pole. Redline comes at 6500RPM, fairly high revs. There's no tach, but revs are limited electronically by a spark randomizer, which is a pretty common way these days to avoid over-revving and the resultant attempts of the engine internals to exit stage any whichaway, or as us pros say in techspeak, "go blooey".

The Buell company is owned by Harley-Davidson. The engine was derived from the Sportster V-twin and pushrod engines are the only type of four-strokes that H-D has built for about the last hundred years until the recent OHC V-Rod. That's not new. Vincent made a line of singles such as the Comet model out of their V-twin Rapide sixty years ago.

We can leave H-D's old ('40s-'60s) 2-smokes out of this for now, but just as a point of historical interest, they were copied from the German DKW as spoils of WWII, along with the BSA Bantam and early Yamaha 125s. Hey, why design an engine when you can liberate one?

The Blast engine is 'dry sump' which means it has an external oil reservoir and a separate gearbox/primary oil supply. That, too, is old-fashioned and it works. It has an added benefit of helping to cool the oil as well.

On to the Frame. The Blast barely has one. It has a rectangular steel tubing backbone, which doubles as the oil tank, from which the engine is hung. There's a short stub extending downward from the steering head which connects to the engine via a Heim joint rod, which, along with one to the rear, serves as a top motor mount.

Since there's no frame tubes under the engine, a no doubt truly expensive set of crankcases are left vulnerable to damage from running over curbs, pedestrians, etc., Buell has protected the mill in a very clever way, I think. The exhaust pipe seguƩs neatly into the muffler directly under the engine. The line of the pipe follows the curvature of the front wheel for eye appeal, and resembles a 'chin' fairing used on some bikes as an an air intake for various purposes. A little dab of 'fool the eye' put to good use. The muffler is triangular in shape, which makes it look aerodynamic and won't high center on anyone you run over.

Speaking of engine protection, take a look at the footpeg support, the Y-shaped pressed steel bracket extending downward from just under the front of the seat. Since this a supposed to be a 'beginner' or 'starter' bike, this is a real good idea. It won't do much good at anything over walking speed, but that's when beginners tend to tip over. Bikes self-stabilize once they get going. Don't ask me how I know this, but they actually work. The slight drawback is that they need to be removed for some service work, like adjusting the clutch or changing the gearbox oil, but it's only two bolts per side.

I've got more to say about this neat little sled, but the pups are clamoring to get emptied and then it'll be lunchtime. Later.

I'm Back

Damn!
I go on vacation and come back to a dysfunctional computer.
Took damn near a week to get up and running again. I have never heard of an IP address expiring.
After pestering my buddy the computer guru, he finally got through to the bastards that run our service.
Come to find out, all he had to do was unplug something and plug it back in.Jesus Christ on a crutch.
No fucking email, no toobz period.
In all of my bitching and whining I did manage to score a faster computer,heh ,squeaky wheel and all that.
I am afraid to find out how much spam is waiting for me,oh well, the boss is gone today and I am the only one in the shop so I think I'll have plenty of time to find out.
I will do some surfing and see if I can find any new gizmo's out there we can talk about. Back soon.

30 July 2007

Where I work* ...

So, come to find out, our little tramp Sam is a practical joker.

To set the scene, Indian is one of those guys who has a chronic 'plumber's crack'. You know, when you can see the crack of his ass above his jeans? So, one day in the past I tell Sam, when she remarked 'I can see Indian's crack', that when I catch him bending over, I slide a long Phillips screwdriver between his cheeks. I didn't think anything more about it.

The other day, Indian is bending over under the hood of a car and I see Sam run to the refrigerator. She puts a finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet. Seems she stuck a wrench in the fridge earlier in the day. She takes the cold wrench and drops it down the Indian's crack. I ain't seen him move that fast since the time one of the auto parts places was giving out free beer. Heh ... Good thing Sam runs faster than the Indian.

***


Next, I have a bad habit, or bad timing, to be the most politically incorrect at the totally wrong time. Like the time I was doing my best mama-san impersonation, "yeah, GI, ten dollah for boom-boom, my first time, love you all night", while the Korean mail lady was dropping off the mail, or I'll go off on some profanity-laden tirade when, unbeknownst to me, a female customer is in the shop.

So, the other day, Sam froze a bottle of Dasani and would stick it down our shirts when we weren't looking. She does it to the Indian and he tells her "I'm gonna shove it up your ass if you do it again". Of course, that's just asking Sam to do it again. Couple minutes later, I see her sneaking up behind him.

I come around the other side of the car behind her and as soon as she drops it down his back and goes to run, I snatch her up and throw her over my shoulder, her ass up in the air. Sam's screaming bloody murder and I say to the Indian as he approaches with the frozen water bottle "okay, dude, stick it in her ass".

Wouldn't you know, one of the little old Russian ladies picks that time to walk into the shop. She makes the sign of the cross and runs out. I'm still surprised she didn't call the cops.

Just another day at the shop. Heh ...

*Part of an ongoing, semi-regular series.

28 July 2007

Sorry but ...

Putting one of these on the street is like waving a red flag at a bull.



I see one of 'em and I put my foot to the floor to see how high I can get it to register.

And if you decide to do what this clown did, I'll drive up on your lawn and run 'em over:

The West Salem firefighter found a way to slow down the drivers who cruise through his neighborhood by using life-sized cut-out photographs of his own children, reported NewsChannel5.

If you drive by Mike Wood's home too fast, you may not be able to tell if those images of children are real or just cut-outs -- and that's the idea, because the photos are making drivers slow down. [my em]

...


Listen to me. If a cop gets me speeding, I'll gladly pay the fine. I take responsibility for what I do. If a private citizen decides to do the cops' work, I'm gonna hand him his ass. If you ain't a cop, you'd better not fuck with me on the road.

You got speeders on your street? Petition the local government to install more traffic control devices (like we did in my neighborhood). Believe me, playing cop will only get you hurt, regardless of your motives.

Disclaimer: I do not advocate speeding through residential neighborhoods. I don't do it (I keep my excessive speed for the interstate highways) but I got a big problem with wannabe cops getting their jollies at my expense.

27 July 2007

It Should Be Painful To Be So Stupid

After reading Fixers last post I just have to share what just happened here at the shop.
I work with some seriously stupid people, really, seriously ,stupid.

I was walking across the shop when I hear this very loud BANG!
I turned to look and see a tractor truck pulling away from the 40 ft. trailer it had just pulled out from under, with the landing gear UP.
Dumb SOB didn't check the fifth wheel for being latched.
Of course now the electric cable for the lights and both air lines go snap too.
This is just one more for the Bozo's around here.
We had another idjit drive across the yard with the boom up and try to get in the wash bay.
CRUNCH. Tore the front of the building off. Yet another idjit, this time a lady, drove under a conveyor belt 20 ft. in the air with the boom up.
That one was ugly. Twisted the frame and wedged it into the superstructure holding up the belt.
Had to get a monster forklift and drag it back out. Bent a pin for the boom that was 3 inches of solid steel and completely fucked up the boom.
Yep, it's always interesting around this joint, no wonder I drink so damn much.
Speaking of drinking, I am taking a week off to restore whats left of my sanity and will not be anywhere near a computer or phone. I think I am going to fishing in the Columbia river, see if I can finally catch something besides a buzz.
See Ya's in about a week or so.

20 July 2007

Things ...

First off, I get a car in on the hook, Subaru Impreza. We've been having some shitty weather here on the Island and the customer said he went through a puddle (it's a Subaru, ain't it?) and it stopped running. I told him "don't get your hopes up".

I open the doors and water pours out. I look over and there's water in the center console cup holders. Indian and I pop the hood and pull the air cleaner ... soaked. Next we pull the spark plugs and a combination of gas, water, and oil pours out of each hole. I crank the motor with a big ratchet on the crankshaft pulley and empty the cylinders, about a gallon of the mixture, onto the floor. I call the customer up and tell him to call his insurance company so they can total it. He wasn't happy but the motor was full and so was the automatic transmission, not to mention the car was flooded up to the dash, there's no point putting a motor in it when it will have electrical problems for the rest of it's natural life.

Moral: Avoid puddles, I don't care what kind of car you drive.

Next, Friday Amateur Hour on the Expressway. Listen, if your minivan is packed to the gills with all your stuff and your kids so it drags on the road, maybe you shouldn't be driving like an idiot on the highway. I can't understand why people who live on Long Island pay exorbitant amounts for timeshares in the Hamptons (we have 300 miles of some of the best beaches in the world), but you ain't gonna make it there if you flip the fucking thing.

If said minivan also has front wheels whose tops point in and wants to pull violently to one side or the other, you might also want to have some front end work done before you kill the whole damn family.

There's a lot of shit you can let slide on your car, but the safety items, brakes, lights, steering and suspension, tires, should never be ignored. A tire blowing out at highway speed or having to stop suddenly with an overloaded vehicle with shitty brakes, can mean the difference between life and death, not just for your sorry ass but for your family or the poor innocent schmuck who's just trying to get home to his family on a Friday evening.