Goddammit, I hate you fucking people. Yeah, you have a right to be on the road, but use some common-fucking-sense. If you jog, and there is a sidewalk available, use the fucking thing, don't meander your ass out in the street. Unless you can keep up with my 300 horsepower, keep out my fucking way. What the fuck are you thinking? I almost ran over this brother the other morning because he's jogging down the middle of a 40 mph road at 5 a.m. Aside from the fact you're black and wearing dark clothing, why are you in the street? You were about to be just another speed bump in my day. Jesus H. Christ!
And now for you fucking cyclists. The same goes for you, if you can't do 40 mph, GET OUT THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD. Do you want to be a hood ornament? Look, none of you are Lance Armstrong and most of you don't have to body to wear those tight fucking spandex clothes. Look in the fucking mirror, old man. Aside from not wanting to see your big ass in bright yellow pants, I don't want to have to navigate around a bunch of you on the service road of the Long Island Expressway. It's bad enough those who are on there in the first place, let alone be pretentious enough to believe you have a right to the left lane. If the most you're doing is 10 mph, stay to the fucking right, WAY to the right. Trust me, if I hit you, I won't feel a thing. Do you want the tracks of my Michelin All-Terrain tires up your back? I don't go holding up tractor-trailers, what gives you the right to deny cars the road built for them? And what ever happened to the liesurely bike rides around the neighborhood that I used to take with my parents when I was young? Why does everybody have to be Greg LeMond? Just remember this, if you want to piss with the big dogs, you have to piss on the big trees. Your two wheels and leg power ain't cutting it. Stay in the bike lane and out my fucking way. With that, I'm off to the mines. Have a good day.
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