05 June 2004

Mrs. F's new phone

New phone for Mrs. F and she's sitting next to me moving all her contacts over from her old phone. My wife with a phone in each hand is scary. I hate talking on the phone; I look at it as a tool to convey information. I don't have long, deep conversations with people on the phone. If you want to shoot the shit with me, come on over and we'll do it over a drink. My phone calls are 30 seconds or less, just conveying the pertinent information and boom, I'm done. While I'm at work, I don't want to be bothered, don't call me unless you're on fire. (Mrs. F is exempt from that rule.) I have too much shit to do at work to sit there and bullshit with you. If you are really bent on talking to me on the phone, wait until I'm home so I can have a drink while I talk to you. If in doubt, hold that thought until the next time you see me. I'll be more receptive. I'd rather you emailed. If you're calling to talk to Mrs. F, have a nut. She loves people and talking to them and can go on for hours. (Note to Mrs. F's friends, you're damn lucky I'm not paying for incoming calls on my landlines or you'd never hear from her.) Note to everyone else, don't call my house after 8 p.m. unless you won't live until morning. You wake me up for stupid bullshit, I'm coming to get you.

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