Things ...

First off, I get a car in on the hook, Subaru Impreza. We've been having some shitty weather here on the Island and the customer said he went through a puddle (it's a Subaru, ain't it?) and it stopped running. I told him "don't get your hopes up".

I open the doors and water pours out. I look over and there's water in the center console cup holders. Indian and I pop the hood and pull the air cleaner ... soaked. Next we pull the spark plugs and a combination of gas, water, and oil pours out of each hole. I crank the motor with a big ratchet on the crankshaft pulley and empty the cylinders, about a gallon of the mixture, onto the floor. I call the customer up and tell him to call his insurance company so they can total it. He wasn't happy but the motor was full and so was the automatic transmission, not to mention the car was flooded up to the dash, there's no point putting a motor in it when it will have electrical problems for the rest of it's natural life.

Moral: Avoid puddles, I don't care what kind of car you drive.

Next, Friday Amateur Hour on the Expressway. Listen, if your minivan is packed to the gills with all your stuff and your kids so it drags on the road, maybe you shouldn't be driving like an idiot on the highway. I can't understand why people who live on Long Island pay exorbitant amounts for timeshares in the Hamptons (we have 300 miles of some of the best beaches in the world), but you ain't gonna make it there if you flip the fucking thing.

If said minivan also has front wheels whose tops point in and wants to pull violently to one side or the other, you might also want to have some front end work done before you kill the whole damn family.

There's a lot of shit you can let slide on your car, but the safety items, brakes, lights, steering and suspension, tires, should never be ignored. A tire blowing out at highway speed or having to stop suddenly with an overloaded vehicle with shitty brakes, can mean the difference between life and death, not just for your sorry ass but for your family or the poor innocent schmuck who's just trying to get home to his family on a Friday evening.