Cruise Night New York Style

An East Coast retro car scene in the LATimes

HARTSDALE, N.Y. - Steve and Marie Michaels maneuver their black '55 Chevy with the "MOB HIT" license plate so the rear faces into the parking lot of a Carvel ice cream shop, where everyone can see the trunk's "Godfather" mural. It shows Brando as Vito Corleone, Pacino as Michael Corleone, and the guy who plays Luca Brasi, the hulking henchman who winds up sleeping with the fishes.

"Luca, he's the man," says Bronx-born Steve Michaels as he folds his cigarette pack under the left sleeve of his white T-shirt.

LiVecchi concedes that there are challenges to being car crazy in New York, as opposed to, say, California. Owners need a good garage, for starters, and can't be planning to drive in snow, ice and road salt. Of course, those indoor months give them time to work on cars such as the "Godfather" Chevy. Next on the drawing board for that one?

"You know the scene where Sonny gets killed at the toll plaza?" LiVecchi says. "We're going to do a mural of that, under the hood."

A message to the guy checking the oil, perhaps?

Hot August Nights

Going on now from July 29 to August 6 is the 20th annual Hot August Nights in Reno, Nevada, not too far from me. This is more of an event than just a car show. We're talkin' poodle skirts on gals that are old enough to know better, folks.

You can read all about it at the site, and watch streaming video at KOLO-TV. Be sure to go see the band lineup.

I had a buddy named Grape who's moved away now, but he loved the old iron. He worked (and lived) at a local wrecking yard. His ride was a '55 Ford pickup with a Rocket 88 mill he found on the ground. The motor mounts were various length pieces of chain, and all the door and window handles were small vise grips, except for one window that wasn't there which he covered in duct tape in winter. It was a low rider, partly by design and partly by the old suspension pieces he used. The thing was finished in gray primer and the mufflers didn't very well. The license plates were whatever he could find with a current tag.

Obviously, this thing wasn't a candidate for the Show 'n Shine, and Grape couldn't take part in the cruising, mostly because the truck was an instant bust and he couldn't outrun the cops in downtown Reno. To its credit, Hot August Nights even had an event for this bucks-down old load in amongst all the stuff for the high dollar restorations: the burn-out contest. Grape ran real wide tires that didn't cost him anything, and that Olds could really light 'em up! He'd burn rubber 'til he ran out of gas. He had as much fun as anybody, maybe more. The crowd loved it too.

I have many funny stories about Grape. He and I were pals for years. Maybe I'll tell a few of 'em. Stay tuned.

It's hot

We have a sign in the shop:

We don't work on:

French cars
British cars
Italian cars
Russian cars


I'm too old for the hassle and Harry's of the same mind. So today, the hottest fucking day of the year so far, Nunzio brings a car up to be inspected. An ancient Peugeot 405.

Me: Is that the same Frog piece of shit that caught fire on the dyno last year?

Nunzio: Yeah, I fixed it.

Me: What did I tell you last year, after I got the fire out, you crazy I-talian?

He thinks for a minute.

Nunzio, quoting me: Don't ever bring that Frog piece of shit back here ever again or I'll push it out in the street and burn it the rest of the way.

Me: And?

Nunzio: But the guy is a good customer. Look, he pays me to keep this thing running. I'll leave it with you.

Me: It's the hottest fucking day of the year.

Nunzio: Pleeeeeeze.

Me: Fine. I hate to see a grown man beg.

Nunzio heads back to his shop (a couple blocks up the road). About a half-hour later, Harry and I strap the car down to the dyno and run it up. Four minutes on a variable speed course, ending up at about 60 mph before the test ends. It fails the first run and we have to do it again. We're almost finished with the second run, Harry bringing up the speed, and at about 50, I see smoke begin coming out from the hood seams. I move to the wall to grab the fire extinguisher, muttering 'I'm gonna kill that Ginzo bastid'.

Harry sees me move and then he sees the smoke. 'Is it on fire,' he yells, continuing to put on speed, following the test.

I look under the car and I see green fluid pouring out from underneath. 'Nah, overheating,' I yell back as the left side tank of the radiator blew off, spewing 250 degree water all over the place. Harry finishes the test as I start tossing Speedy-dry on the steaming antifreeze. Would you believe the fucking thing passed?

I dial the phone. 'Nunz, bring the wrecker, the fucking thing passed but it needs a radiator.'

Nunzio: Cha-ching.



So how did your day go?

More Tesla

Some follow-up on Fixer's post (scroll down a little) from the LATimes.

When Tesla, the upstart auto company based in Silicon Valley, unveiled its all-electric Roadster at a swank affair in Santa Monica last week, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger dropped in for surprise visit. Recognition hung in the air. The man who became famous for playing one seriously aggressive electric appliance had come to pay his respects to another.

That's not too germane to the subject, but I couldn't resist! Also see photo "Assault with battery". Ah, the pun electric!

The Tesla is a toothsome sports car. The EV1, um, wasn't.

Perhaps most important and most unlike the EV1, the Tesla offers something beyond mere virtue as a reward to its buyers. Fun, in large, hair-raising voltages. The company claims 0 to 60 mph acceleration in four seconds and a top speed of 130 mph.

Big brakes, racy suspension, optional leather and navigation system, air conditioning, heated seats. There's even room for golf clubs. With the Tesla, the electric car seems poised to move past its groovy-granola beginnings.

"There's a big market for green," says Chris Paine, EV advocate and director of "Who Killed the Electric Car," "but not as big as the market for something more primal. Speed and power have always sold cars."

There are more variables than an algebra textbook and Tesla's success is far from a sure thing. GM, with all its technological prowess and financial depth, couldn't make a business case out of the EV1 - and I submit that those who think otherwise don't understand the car business.

The Big 3 don't seem to understand the car business much anymore either, other than "build what sells". Expensive gas will change that more than green thinkin' will. Dinosaurs historically have not been receptive to evolutionary change. Seen any of those lately?

Shorter "The times they are a-changin'": We're goin' from dirty-dirty suck-squeeze-bang-blow to cleaner 'whirrrr'. I hope we're in time.

Yeah, what he said

Our pal, Badtux the Penguin gets stuck on the highway thanks to the cheapness of others:

...

And YOU, random blog reader: This heat ain't nothin to fuck around with. If you're not a mechanic yourself and you haven't taken your car to a mechanic lately to have him check your coolant mix, radiator cap, radiator hoses, and everything else that's a normal service item to make sure everything's working right when the weather gets hot, *DO IT*. The last fuckin' thing your kids need is for your stupid cheap ass self to strand them in the middle of fuckin' nowhere in 100 degree weather without any fuckin' water to drink on some mountain grade where there's no real shoulder to pull off so you're all just kinda dangling on the edge of a fuckin' cliff because it's too goddamned hot to stay in the car and cars are blowing by honking their horns and shit at you and the tow company says it'll be at least four hours before they can come get your car because every tow truck in the whole fuckin' region is tied up hauling fucking morons back home where said morons thought takin' their car to Jiffy Loob every few thousand miles was "maintaining" it... is that what you want for yourself? No? Then TAKE CARE OF YOUR GODDAMNED CAR, for cryin out loud. And no, I don't mean take it to fuckin' JIFFY LOOB for some fuckin moron even dumber than you to open the hood and look in it and say, "Doh, there's an engine under here awrite!". Shit, you could do that much yourself and get the same goddamned result. Take your piece of shit car to a MECHANIC. Someone who actually KNOWS somethin' about cars. Got it?

...

Yo, didja get it or are you still clueless?

Tesla

John turned me on to this via email this morning and I poked around a little more.

Last night Tesla Motors unveiled their uber-chic Roadster, a supercharged electric vehicle that looks, feels and drives like many other high-end sports cars. The main difference is the noise. Powered by a 3-phase, 4-pole AC induction motor, the Roadster can go 130 mph and does 0-60 in about 4 seconds, all completely silent. [my emphases]

...

This is the beginning of the end for the internal combustion engine. Cars with this type of styling and performance will garner interest with the die hard hotrodders. Unlike Reaganomics and Bush's ownership society, this stuff trickles down to the general public. "Win on Sunday, sell on Monday" isn't just a happy little saying.

Branded!

Note to self: Be more careful with the exhaust probe after running a car at 60 mph on the dyno.

Chickasaws Chisel Chinks, Revive MG

LATimes

A struggling Chinese manufacturer, the remnants of a failed British automaker and an ambitious American Indian tribe plan to pool their resources to rescue the iconic MG sports car from the automotive junkyard.

A consortium led by Nanjing Automobile Group announced a $2-billion plan Wednesday to construct a state-of-the art production facility in China, reopen a shuttered MG factory in England and open an assembly plant and a distribution center in the small town of Ardmore, Okla.

The Nanjing-led group - knowing that customers may well be skeptical of an upstart Chinese manufacturer - will have to produce a car that is well-designed and without flaws right out of the gate or risk damaging the brand's reputation.

Good for them. The old MGs were well enough designed, and a lot of fun to drive. Without flaws? Hardly.

The new MG team also is counting on additional help from the Chickasaws, a 38,000-member tribe based in Ada, Okla. Under federal law, Indian tribes are considered sovereign nations and are exempt from paying taxes. Hale said his group was researching ways that the MG operation could benefit financially from a partnership with the tribe.

"I can tell you, there may be some unique tax advantages there," he said.

Marc Nuttle, a partner in the MG project, said he was working with the Chickasaws on a plan to develop a 3,000-acre parcel north of Ardmore, Okla., where the MG facility would be based.

That site was selected because it has a long runway that could be expanded to accommodate large cargo aircraft and is close to a rail line and freeways.

In addition to casinos, the Chickasaws operate a medical services company, a historic hotel and a factory that makes chocolate-covered potato chips. This year, the tribe projects that its businesses will net nearly $200 million.

A long runway near a rail line and freeways, huh? In a 'sovereign nation', huh? Look for an influx of Chinese. They could be the 'new Mexicans'. Ha!

As far as the car itself goes, it may look like a retro MG TF, but it'll more likely have just a family resemblance. Those things were fine in their day, but there's no way they could produce anything remotely like it today that would even be legal to sell in the U.S. in terms of emissions and safety standards, not to mention reliability. It will be interesting to see what Nanjing comes up with.

They're serious, though. They've sent their own chefs to Birmingham. Apparently, the Chinese don't like fish and chips.

I wonder what they'll think of mutton stew and fry bread?

Is it really worth it ...

To sit in traffic on the Long Island Expressway for 3 - 6 hours to get out to the Hamptons and your timeshare, only to have to do it again Sunday night in the other direction? I mean, the high-brows who actually live out there either have a chauffeured limo or a helicopter bring them out. All the rest of you assholes are stuck with me in traffic. I don't get it.

And another note, if your car's nose dives and the ass jumps up every time you barely touch the brake, threatening to go wildly out of control, it might not be a good idea to drive around at 80 mph. You might want to think about getting new struts and/or shocks before you kill your damn self.

Love and Hate

As most of you know, I'm a mechanic. Before I started working for Harry, I was an engine builder at Ford Motorsport. It doesn't take much imagination to know I love high performace cars and racing. I got into the life early, my dad racing a car at Islip and Freeport Speedways on Long Island.

That said, much as I love NASCAR, I find myself becoming more averse to it. The problem is their close association with the Republican-Conservative-Neocon agenda. It's things like this that turn me off, as well as the blatant displays of 'patriotism' that are nothing more than the use of our troops as props. After being a die hard fan for over 40 years, I'm not so much of one anymore. If NASCAR is losing me, I'm sure they're also losing a lot of others who love the sport but can't abide the politization of it.

Cross-posted at the Brain.

Sweet!

How cool is that? I saw pix of this a couple months ago and it immediately brought back memories of the Challengers and 'Cudas of yore.

And yes, that's King Richard on the left.

Blogiversary

I'm proud to say the Alternate Brain is two years old.

Smart

These things are all over Europe and the Mrs. and I have been saying for years they are great urban transportation. Every European city we've been to has specially marked parking spaces for them where other cars won't fit.

Cross-posted at the Brain.

New look

Comments? Suggestions?

Update:

Is the blue text easier on the eyes than the white?

Is the background under the posts better?

Okay, this is the way it's going to be.

Car Culture

The Los Angeles Times has more articles about cars than you can shake a stick at in its Cars Commemorative Edition. Just go. You'll find something ya like, I'm sure.

Why?

Why do people have to watch me work? I mean, what is so fascinating or entertaining about what mechanics do? Do I come to your office and sit next to you, watching you do whatever it is you do? Giving you advice? Would you like me to stand over your shoulder as you're doing your job, asking stupid questions and making stupid commments? How long would it be before you told me to get lost? Okay, so don't get mad when I tell you to get out.

See, I don't care how many hot rod magazines you read, how many auto repair idiots you watch on TV or listen to on the radio, until you have 35 years of experience doing my job, making your living doing it, shut up, leave the keys, and get out. I've forgotten more than you'll ever learn about cars, and while your suggestions may be well intentioned, I don't need you buzzing in my ear about 'what it might be' because you heard Frick and Frack on the radio talking about it this morning. All you do is end up sounding like an idiot. In addition, I don't have the time to explain to you why you're wrong.

I am also not entertainment. How many times have people said, 'you guys are fun' after I just told PDB to suck my ass, shut the fuck up, and get back to work. This isn't for your benefit. It isn't Cique du Soliel of the car world. You want to see grouchy men yell at each other? Watch American Chopper. Those guys don't have a line of customers showing up at 5 this afternoon, expecting their cars to be fixed and running. You want me to entertain you? I'll start charging admission. Go buy yourself a puzzle or something if you're so bored that I'm actually entertaining.

Note: This does not apply to women. The fairer sex is always welcome to grace our little establishment and ask as many questions as they want. We'll spend as much time with you as you need to understand the problem with your car and what it takes to fix it. And I sure as Hell am not going on a road call with 2 feet of snow on the ground to help a guy; you're paying for a wrecker, pal. Yes, it's sexist (or reverse sexism), and old fashioned, but it's our shop. Tough shit.

Finally...

I spent yesterday morning and this morning getting the Indian to join the 21st Century. He finally got connected to the Internet, getting a desktop PC for him and a wireless laptop for Mrs. Indian. She has experience with the Internet at work so I left his tutelage in her hands. My job was setting up the computers, the cable modem, and the wifi router. As of high noon today, my pal gave up smoke signals for email. The mountain comes to Mohammed.

Prius Recall

LATimes

Toyota Motor Corp. said Tuesday that it planned to begin a global voluntary recall of nearly 320,000 of its hot-selling Prius gasoline-electric hybrid sedans to repair a potentially faulty steering system component.

The campaign will involve about 170,000 vehicles sold in the U.S., said spokesman Sam Butto of the Japanese automaker's Torrance-based U.S. sales unit. That represents about two-thirds of the 268,000 sold since the hybrid's introduction here in July 2000.

The recall also covers eight other Toyota models - none sold in the U.S. - that use the same steering system. In all, Toyota is recalling 986,000 vehicles, more than half of them in its home market, the company said in a statement issued in Japan.

The Prius recall does not involve any of the car's propulsion system components but a potentially understrength piece of the steering shaft assembly that could loosen or crack.

Toyota said no owners in the U.S. had complained about the fault, which was discovered in vehicles sold in Japan.

The part can fail if the steering wheel is turned forcefully to the locked position at low speed or if a front tire strikes a curb or other solid obstacle while the car is in motion.

Movie Alert!

Here's one ya might like, on DVD.

Hey...

I just realized...this blog is 2 years old this month!