10 January 2005


Out West here, we're having a terrific series of Winter Storms. I've dug myself out every day since last Wednesday. Down in Reno, they've got two feet of snow on the ground, the most since 1916, and it has flat paralyzed the "Biggest Little City In The World". It's kinda funny, actually. I mean, they've got the Sierra Nevada (Spanish for "Snowy Range") in their back yard, literally, but when the snowfall moves two miles and actually gets to town it shocks the shit out of them and brings the whole joint to a slippin', slidin', shovelin' halt.

I remember that when I worked at Harley-Davidson of Reno a few years back, we were next door to a four-wheel-drive emporium, and every time it snowed they had a rash of jobs fixing locking hubs (I'm dating myself, huh?) that had rusted in the "unlocked" position due to lack of use. Remember, "SUV" stands for "Shiny Unused Vehicle". We got a big kick out of it.

We benefit, however, from their discomfort in the fact that there have been many articles about Winter in their media. Here's one that I felt would be of interest to TF&G readers. From the Reno Gazette-Journal column, "Street Beat".
Look outside. If you see a white blob where your car should be, stop reading now, and head outside with a shovel.

No, wait. First read this, from Puzzled Reader (not her real name):

No, wait. First read this, from One Who Knows (not my real name): Shovel around your car. Don't shovel snow off your car. You'll fuck it up. Use a Snohoe. A shameless local plug. They're made in the next town down the road from here.
“All around me,” she wrote (I’m paraphrasing here), “I see people zipping effortlessly through the snow, while my delightful Ford Ranger gets stuck every other block.

“I thought trucks were good in snow. How can I join that mobile throng?”

You need a combination of will, new tires, judgment, faith and a handful of no-cost hints Street Beat will hereby impart. Keep reading even if you don’t have a pickup, because they’re applicable to nearly all vehicles.

Enjoy. Learn. Snicker at the un-preparedness of them city slickers. Something I've known for years: The real reason for four-wheel-drive is to get a thousand pounds over the drive wheels, not to make your dick bigger.

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